Parents, Stigmatizing Sex Safety Endagers Us and For What? Your Misguided Notions of Honor?

By: Nour

Disclaimer: This article is in no way, shape, or form encouraging anyone to have sex or indulge in self-pleasure. Read that again, please. If you partake in sexual acts, that’s your choice. The only reason we do these articles is for everyone who does to be reminded to stay safe and everyone who doesn’t be aware of how they can be safe when they do have sex, whenever that is according to their morality/beliefs/religion.

I’m pretty fucking certain I will get yeeted out the window if I ask my mom for birth control pills. Or if she finds them in my drawer. Or if I even mention that I know what birth control is. Because ultimately, “3eib!!!!”. I have friends that look away in shyness when there are condoms on the pharmacy counter. It’s ridiculous! It goes without saying, if you’re going to be having sex, be safe. 

But what if going out of your way to be safe would probably mean you risk your ‘family’s honour’ because “what is the pharmacist gonna say when my daughter buys condoms?” The very idea of even discussing contraceptives with your parents is unheard of. You go ahead and try to tell your mom you want to see a gynecologist for a pap smear/a normal check up. Terrifying, isn’t it? We can’t even openly talk about our periods in our own homes, let alone safe sex. But what happens when we stigmatise safe sex so much? 

In short, STDs, STIs, and unwanted/unplanned pregnancies. Is that really worth your misguided notions of honour? I think parents need to realise that we will generally do whatever the fuck we want to do, regardless of what they expect from us, or what they consider “right and wrong”. We’re moving as a generation away from the shitty concepts of “what will people think?” because frankly, people do not matter.

Even if you chose to wait till marriage, safe-sex education should not remain “taboo”. We are generally opting less for a child centered life, and choosing to focus on careers and other aspects more, even (and maybe even especially after marriage), so why the fuck am I not being taught how to make sure I don’t catch herpes or make sure I don’t have to consider an abortion?

And then you get the terrifying aftermath. You get an STI. You miss your period. But you’re scared shitless and can’t tell your mom why you have an STI. So you quickly google what can be done, and you try to improvise. Bad idea. So mama and baba, was it really worth thinking that this is shameful? Absolutely not. 

Also, hold up for a minute. You do realize that as hormone-ridden teenagers, we are bound to start exploring and experimenting with what our hormones drive us to need, yeah? Not even necessarily full-on sex, but many teenagers don’t realise that any kind of intimate activity (even just making out) could put them at danger of catching something (or passing something on you didn’t know you have). 

Passing on something like what? Let me enlighten you. Chlamydia, herpes, gonorrhoea, syphilis, and HPV can all be transmitted from and through a person’s mouth to absolutely whatever it is touching (including but not limited to anything and everything in the far ‘down there’ area). Some of these STIs/Ds will require constant and ongoing treatment, some could pose serious lifelong health complications, and you might not even show symptoms right away. Fuck that. Sex ed is a goddamn healthcare necessity. 

But even if we forget that whole “STD” thing. How many girls have heard guys say “But condoms don’t make it feel as good.” No. That’s just manipulation. Or even “Trust me babe, I’ll pull out.” Also no. Guys are able to get away with absolutely idiotic excuses like this because we know virtually nothing about how safe sex works, and that “pulling out” is just as dangerous as not. And when something as simple as a contraceptives class could’ve cancelled out just one more way a guy can gaslight a girl into fucking whatever way he wants to, regardess of what she initially wanted. 

Tab w ba3dein? (Now, what?). What’s the solution? It’s not like I’m asking parents to openly give their children condoms the second they turn 18. Nor am I expecting a culture like ours with messed up ideologies to suddenly have a sex-positive attitude. I’m rather asking for safe-sex to become a relatively open discussion with less stigma around it. Yes, you think it’s “wrong”, but at least I’m being safe, therefore not hurting anyone in the process. Mesh sa7 bardo wallah eh?

Wrap it before you tap it, 

NKJ

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