Going through puberty, us women are usually unprepared and aren’t well informed on sexual attraction and how to face sexual arousal. This, mixed with the obsession many young teenagers go through over celebrities, throws us onto Wattpad, reading fanfictions of our favourite celebrity crushes. More often than not, we end up reading erotica and discovering the “forbidden” world of sexuality… As surprising as it seems, reading these stories gave us a lot of information on sex, and particularly on how to express sexual desire and write about pleasure.
We thank smuts and fanfictions for teaching us the basics of sexting, but now, let’s teach the boys the lesson we had to learn through falling down that particular rabbit hole.
- Consent consent consent consent. I would literally write a whole paragraph of just the word consent, but I won’t. Before you start sexting someone you have to make sure they are A-Okay with moving into that stage of action.
- Foreplay is key. It’s always a plus to follow the same rhythm as you would in person. Just like in physical intercourse, you should go slow and steady, and make sure to not jump to “that” part too quickly. Start from the beginning, get them worked up, be creative.
- DON’T OVERTHINK IT. Physically, it’s easy to see if your partner is liking it or not so you can adjust, but online it might be a lot harder. This is very likely to send you into the whole “are they into it?” whirlwind. That’s okay, it’s considerate to want to please the other party and demand the same. Butttt don’t let that get you out of sync; overthinking things can take you and subsequently your partner out of the mood and ruin things. So if you have your consent, just go for it.
- You can always share nudes too, to add some “visual representation”, it could spice things up and be fun for the both of you, but nevertheless, you must, again, get their consent. Do not send sexually explicit images without making sure they’re okay with it, and NEVER share their pictures with anyone. Everything that happens while sexting should be private and stay between you two.
Or honestly, just read Wattpad fics yourself (when you graduate from Wattpad, there’s AO3). You might pick up a thing or two about what we expect/fantasize about as ex-(or current) wattpad readers. However, do your research, and don’t be afraid to ask. Have that conversation about what you both want, it’ll help.