By: Mariam Abdelrazek
I’m literally in no place to give relationship advice being the single-pringle I am. HOWEVER, I can promise y’all I’ll give unbiased, non-clingy, easy and doable tips and hacks to get your love life back on track while keeping your heart safe – thank me later. We have to be realistic though, there’s no magic trick that will ensure a perfect relationship with a snap of your finger. We’re going to have to break some sweat first. And this is probably why you’re here in the first place, y’all are too lazy to do anything smh.
Nothing easy feels rewarding, let’s start from here…
Before we start you must detach your butts from the couch and start putting time and effort into this in order to find results. Now let’s dive in, shall we?
- Daily Gratitude
Yeah, oh my God such a stupid hack, no my dear friend this is actually THE most important hack in this article like if you’re going to follow only one of these hacks, make it this one.
Just tell your partner how grateful you are for something about them and there are no rules my friends you can maker it fun, stupid, as insignificant as possible. Like, I’m grateful you finally clipped your toenails, ironed your shirt, wore the necklace you gave them. Thank them for being tolerant, for making you smile, literally anything. And I promise this will make the biggest difference ever.
- Brutal Honesty
I’m a firm believer in brutal honesty. Most of the time what pisses the other person off in a relationship is because somehow the other person has been keeping something away from the other even if it’s the simplest, smallest, stupidest thing ever. Just say it if you notice it, and brutal honesty does not mean being rude. Call out if you don’t like something that’s going on, if you feel like you’re being invalidated or manipulated or controlled. Don’t keep it in, say whatever comes to your mind, at the end of the day, if you’re not comfortable enough to be honest with your partner, who are you supposed to be brutally honest with?
- Mandatory/Obligatory monthly dates
Pretty self-explanatory, it doesn’t have to be something fancy, just something fun that both of you enjoy and like doing, time to appreciate the other. You know the drill and you probably already do it but I just had to put it in the list you know…also don’t underestimate date nights.
- 5-3-1
This is a really cool hack and kind of related to the last one. One of you comes up with five places for a date for example and the other crosses two out leaving three then the other crosses another two leaving one and this doesn’t just apply to date, legit can be used in anything and is super cool and helpful.
- Avoid Routine
To be honest if I was in a relationship and kept doing the same set of things everyday or even every week or every month I could literally lose my mind from boredom because like, what the hell. just a small tip, don’t do anything more than twice, date night? Go to a different place every time. And the same applies to everything else, change things up, don’t be afraid of change, be afraid of not changing, it’s way worse.
- Safe Words (bonus and probably the most important hack)
I’m sure you’re all familiar with safe words. Probably not from the best sources, but you are. The simplest form of safewords is the traffic lights system; green for ‘ok’ or ‘go’, yellow for ‘pause’, and red for ‘stop’. Safe words are meant to keep you safe, mentally, emotionally, and physically. A safeword can also be a word you both pick together that you don’t often use like, ‘pumpkin’ or something equally as ridiculous (or serious). The second one of you utters the safe word, everything stops. No excuses, no buts, no maybes, not even a huff, y’all quit whatever it is you’re doing. Because if you use a safeword, then something is wrong. Also, you can use the traffic lights system to consistently check on each other if you’re doing something new or talking about your traumas for example, one of you has to be asking ‘color?’ every time things get a bit tense or uncomfortable or hard to make sure the other is okay and safe. During arguments especially, safe words can literally save your heart and your relationship. Please use them.
Oh and stop being jealous for God’s sake
On a side note, these hacks might not work for everyone. Does this mean that there’s no hope in your relationship and you should break up right now? Hell no, nothing works for everyone and this applies to these hacks. Just keep searching to find the perfect way you can patch your relationship back together. Also keep in mind the type of person your partner is, what works for them and what doesn’t. what makes them happy and what doesn’t.
