Manipulation in any circumstance can go unnoticed so it does not come as a surprise when people easily find themselves being manipulated in relationships. People tend to have a lot of power over you when you have feelings for them. Sometimes your significant other can use your feelings against you to control your actions and they might be doing it without noticing or you might be a victim of it and too lost in love to even consider it as an option. Not all relationships have equality of power; sometimes the other person can try to gain an advantage over you in order to control your actions.
Now, you might think that a sexual manipulator uses force but sexual manipulation is often much more subtle. They are used to having their way and they will use every trick up their sleeve to try to get what they want from you. I am going to be brutally honest, if you are in a relationship that you are being sexually manipulated in, it is a simple fact that your relationship is not healthy. If the person actually cared about you then there would be constant conversations about what you and your partner are comfortable with.There is a chance that you might be so heads over heels for them that certain signs of manipulation can go unnoticed, which is not really your fault because manipulation can hold a person psychologically captive.
Here are signs that can help you identify manipulation or in better words sexual manipulation.
When a person is manipulated into sexual activity one of the most common techniques used is pressure or to be more clear-cut, coercion. If things are getting heated and it gets to a point where you are not really comfortable your partner may keep pushing you on and urging you to keep going instead of stopping and taking notice of your visible discomfort. Later on, they might blame these actions on them just ‘being in the heat of the moment’ or they can even blame you, this is a major red flag as it shows that they never take responsibility for their actions and always victimize themselves.They take you saying “no” as a reason to convince you.There will be constant extensive arguments as to why you should and never an effort to understand why you do not want to or why you are not ready.They never address the problems or difficulties your are having, rather it is about them and their selfish sexual desires.
If you notice that every single conversation revolves around them and nothing is ever centered towards your feelings, then take it as a sign to leave that relationship before it becomes much more abusive and you remain trapped due to an emotional connection.
Some drastic measures may also include saying things along the lines of “if you leave me I’ll kill myself. Do not fall for this, it is mostly a call for attention and a way to entrap you by manipulating the human emotion of empathy.
They always bring up the idea that without it your relationship cannot survive
Everyone has different ideas of what a relationship should entail and the terms can be established and agreed upon by having a simple conversation about expectations. The number one thing most sexual manipulators do is make you feel guilty for not being comfortable enough to reach that point in your relationship or making you feel like you are the reason that the relationship is suffering from a lack of something and that somehow complying with what they want will lead to you filling that void. Instead of “whenever you’re ready” or “whatever you’re comfortable with”, it is “ Come on do this for us” “How are we supposed to be closer if we don’t do this”.
Sometimes people can even resort to blackmail if you do not give in to their sexual needs and desires.
Always remember giving in just because you are tired of arguing your side is not going to help your relationship mature and flourish,if anything it is going to negatively impact it and build deeper rooted trust issues and have adverse effects on your mental health.
Stop entertaining sexual activities you are not ready for!
Taking advantage of your low self esteem
They can take advantage of your insecurities by blaming those insecurities as to why you are uncomfortable complying with their sexual desires.Let me clarify something, how you feel about your body is seperate to how comfortable you are, sexually.You will feel pressured to give in and will be made to feel guilty and blamed for everything in the relationship,abusers use low self esteem to keep their victims in check.Often going to the point to subtly or directly make you feel degraded.You will finally give in to the pleas and pressure from your significant other because once again you will feel like you are at fault, and attacking your self esteem is the way they will get you to do everything they want. Do not let them bring you down emotionally or physically, sexual manipulators are selfish and do not care for your needs.
Once again, if you notice this kind of behavior then leave before it gets worse because people like this will go to the extent of blackmail and threats just do have someone to do their bidding.
Attacking your self esteem makes it seem like you gave your full consent because later on the manipulator can deny any claim of abuse and they will simple say “ you could have said no”, making it seem like it was your fault.
If you’ve gathered anything from this article let it be the fact that sexual manipulation is not always direct, it ties in with abuse and emotional manipulation. By attacking your self esteem,body, personality and more the abuser gets into your head making you weaker and more vulnerable to their manipulation.To them it is all a game and you are simply an object for their sexual desires. Yes there are cases where you might feel pressured by your partner but a simple conversation with them, addressing that discomfort will clarify to you if they care about you or just themselves. If it is the latter and your partner is a selfish and manipulative jerk then you must simply come to terms with yourself and realise that it is important for your own well-being to leave before you are in too deep. But know that it is never too later to leave.Yes our need for human affection and validation can make us weak when we are in love but love does not make your utterly stupid and unbelievably blind,you will know deep down in your gut that something is wrong, and if your entire body is giving you warning signals then do you not owe it to yourself to listen?
Regardless of how much you like someone, if the person cared enough for you,you would never feel like you are constantly being pushed into doing something physical that you are not comfortable with.