We are so wired as people to step on ourselves, and put others first. We think we owe other people things which we actually don’t, and to justify that idea we end up compromising our happiness, well being and self-respect. If anything, we owe ourselves those things. We owe our bodies care, and our souls love. Here are 7 things you should never compromise for your own wellbeing!
#1 Your personality
You should never tone your personality down for other people. Fuck anyone who tells you you’re too much- own it. You are not too much, they’re just intimidated by your energy because they can never live up to it. Too many damn people have shrunk down their vivacity to the point that they lost their energy. Having to shrink down yourself will mess you up and hurt you beyond words. You are not too opinionated. You are not too loud. You are not too much!
To the introverts, I am sorry they want you to go to parties you hate! You are not lame, you’re cool in your own way. You don’t have to be in a place you’re uncomfortable. You don’t have to be fun in their way, have fun in yours!
#2 Your work/interests
It’s okay to be busy. It’s okay to have shit to do. Never leave your passion for another person. If they make you choose between your work and them; trust me they are not worth your time! Without doing what you love and what you’re good at, you’re turning yourself into an antique and if you truly love what you do you’ll quickly hate them, yourself and your life.
Also, for guys, it’s okay to love dance, and art. It doesn’t make you gay. It doesn’t make you any less of a man! If anything, being yourself bestows on you a lot of beauty.
#3 Your morals and values
To the people with stupid friends who make sexist, homophobic and racist jokes- CALL THEM OUT. Don’t let them gaslight you. Don’t dumb down yourself so they’d accept you into their friend groups. This will only bring you guilt and a series of: “What ifs?” Don’t be the drag of the group. Speak up your mind. If this is what you believe in, speak up and say it! Don’t sit and nod politely.
#4 Your (personal) limits
Do not do anything just to fit in. I know peer-pressure sucks, but smoking that one joint won’t automatically make you cool, you’ll go back home and you’ll feel like you did something you didn’t want to do!
Also, to people in relationships you don’t have to do anything sexaully that you don’t want to do- even if they spend days trying to convince you. This is called coercion and manipulation. Please do not step on yourself like that. Sexual activity is supposed to be fun for both partners, but if you’re doing it because your partner said: “this will help our relationship grow” then trust me this relationship has already reached the red line of TOXIC.
You don’t have to smoke if you don’t want to!
You don’t have to drink if you don’t want to!
You don’t have to have sex if you don’t want to!
Know your limits and stick by them. Period.
And, then if YOU want to expand them go ahead!
#5 Your aesthetic
Ladies, we all have our very own clothing style, our favorite colours and our own favorite makeup looks. Fuck anyone who tells you: “omg, you look so much better without make up”. If you like it, and you think it makes you look good then go ahead and wear it. Don’t apologize for the clothes you wear! Don’t apologize for the makeup you put on. Don’t change your style because it’s too “church-y” or because it’s too “slutt-y”. Do you!
Guys, it’s okay if you are a softie. It’s okay if you like pink. You’re entitled to your own aesthetic and it doesn’t have to be the: Mohamed Ramadan, deep voice and doesn’t smile stereotypes. Your favourite colour doesn’t have to be black and you don’t need to have muscles.
#6 Your body
Um ladies and Gents, we have all been to the family gathering where the fat person is met with the: “Masha2allahhhh ” which translates damn you have put on 5 pounds since the last family gathering, or the oh my god you’re so stick thin comments. We have also all been in the changing rooms where everyone’s eyes is digging holes by looking at people; judging their boobs, butt, abs, dick etc. Don’t put your body through hell in hopes that the stares would be more delicate. Don’t drink apple cider vinegar. Don’t go on a keto diet. Don’t purge. Don’t eat more than you can. Don’t eat less than you want. Please, listen to your body! Compromising your body means compromising your mental health. Give your body what it wants, and try to understand what it needs.
#7 Your friendships
Never compromise your friendships. It’s okay to step away from a toxic friend for your own mental health, but no one gets to tell you to cut ties with a friend for them whether that be a boyfriend/girlfriend or another friend. Don’t let people manipulate you to choose between them and others; that’s a choice you do not have to make.
Take care of yourself,