Casual relationships are becoming increasingly common nowadays, but they always seem to end due to one person catching feelings and wanting something more and the other person not aiming for anything serious. If that’s the situation you’re in, I get you and I’m here to help you get over this casual relationship and move on.
- Understand what you’re feeling and know what you want to do.
There are some signs you should look for to make sure you actually caught feelings and that you’re not just indulged in the rush of it all. If you’re always looking forward to spending quality time with them, if you find yourself constantly missing them, if you find yourself losing interest in other people and you focus all your attention on them, if you find yourself getting possessive and you start making elaborate plans when you’re alone, you’ve probably caught feelings.
After reaching this conclusion it’s time to decide what you want to do. Its either you confront them and spill everything or you take the decision to just open a new page and move on. If you decide to come clean (which is something I recommend because you’ll need closure) be sure to lower your expectations as the other person isn’t expected to have mutual feelings and there’s nothing wrong with that. Just spill everything and mention that you’re completely accepting of their decision and what they’re feeling.
2. Break it off
Now that you’ve spilled everything and understood what the other person is feeling, it’s time to take action and start moving on. Let go of that casual relationship. Staying in this fling when you know quite well that the feelings are coming from your side only won’t do you any justice and if you think it’s better than nothing as you’ll still have contact with them, you’re wrong. The longer you wait the more evolved your feelings will become and the harder it’ll be for you to move on.
3. Don’t wait for their intentions to change
Waiting for the other person’s intentions to change may be the worst thing you could possibly do to yourself. Keep that idea out of your head and set your mind to moving on. you’re not going to wait and you’re not going to keep your hopes up. You may find yourself doing that mindlessly so make sure to get back on track when you find yourself thinking about waiting.
4. Let it all out
This is where your best friend comes in. Talk to someone you trust and tell them how you feel. When someone knows what you’re going through they’ll be able to help you out and lead you through the journey of moving on. Talking will also make you feel better and will take some weight off your shoulders so go to someone who won’t judge your feelings and let it all out.
5. Focus on yourself
Deciding to move on gives you a great opportunity to focus on yourself so start planning all the things you want to do. You can read that book that’s been on your desk for over 4 months now or binge watch the series you added to your list and never started. Take some time off to do anything that would make you feel better and don’t lecture yourself for being a bit lazy or unproductive. You need this carefree break so just spoil yourself.
6. Distract yourself
Spending some alone time is important and definitely good for you but at some point, you’ll have to socialize. You can do that by facetiming your friend group and catching up, texting an old friend or calling up a family member just to say hi. You can look for an online course you’d be interested in, make random tiktoks and share them with your friends for a laugh or gather some ingredients and try cooking up something new. There are many things you can do to distract yourself which will help you move on and prevent these daydreams that lead to some stupid decisions and random ‘what if’ questions.
7. Be patient
Don’t be hard on yourself, moving on isn’t easy for most of us so always remember that you should take your time and clear your mind. You’ll eventually lose feelings even if you feel like you’re stuck at a certain point and can’t progress from it now.
This has to be it. Remember to go easy on yourself and always understand your emotions so you can move on once and for all. Good luck!