Being a guy; dating never seemed that complicated to me, why would it be? It’s just about two people being in love and trying to make each other happy, right? Well, like everything else in life it’s not that simple. It was only too late when I discovered that us, guys, we really do some fucking stupid shit that WILL end the whole thing sooner or later. Relationships end for different reasons all the time, and most of the time we really have no idea about how we’re taking part in pushing that relationship off the cliff. So, if you like your girlfriend and have any intention in making it work long term you really need to stop doing these things, buddy.
#1 Know when to talk, and when NOT TO
Let’s admit it, lots of the time we have absolutely no idea about when to stop. We’d be overly excited about something and we would just keep talking about it because we need to share it with someone. It’s like when you have a very good joke and you just feel the urge to share it with someone, we’ve all been there. The problem here is that if your girlfriend isn’t really in the mood, this makes you come off as selfish, insensitive and a lowkey jerk. It gives the vibes that you give no fucks whether she’s fit for a talk or not.
Working this problem out is easier than you think, actually. Just notice if she’s okay or not and have some common sense to feel for her. It doesn’t matter how excited you are because you’re capable of growing facial hair. If she’s not okay, it can wait. She’s the priority.
#2 Miscommunication – or lack thereof –
The good old classic one. This could unarguably be the most fatal thing you’re doing. All the other things I’m going to state could be justified and understood, but this one just has no excuse. The thing here is that as fatal as this problem is, it’s the one to go the most under the radar. You only notice it when you’re already at a bad place, trying to figure what the hell went wrong.
Just talk man, talk about whatever. It starts with a problem then “Bn3ml feha ma2mosen” and it only escalades from there. You find yourself avoiding talks about what’s going wrong more and more thinking it’s okay, but the next thing you know is that you’re trying to get her back because you just had some communication issues, which you have no idea about how they started in the first place -let me give you a hint, it’s you-.
#3 Not embracing or embracing the wrong way
I can’t say how important this one is, buddy. When anyone we know has a problem, we try to help them as much as we can, little do we know that we might be making it worse. People want to be taken care of in different ways. Some want to be left alone, some need you there, some want to keep talking about it without needing you to even reply. It’s your job to figure out which way she wants to be taken care of.
I wish there was a way you could know how she wants you to take care of her when she’s down – other than talking about it obv. -, but the only way you’re figuring this out is going to be just like everything else in life that we don’t know how to figure out; trial and error. Just don’t go wild because you kinda have limit with that.
#4 No time for her but you’ve got time for other things
This one just flat out kills the whole thing. You might be actually busy, and she’ll understand, but if it’s too much it just gets obnoxious to her. You can’t have excuses doing stuff planned days ahead with her, but at the same time be absolutely chill meeting your friends at 3AM with a 15-minute notice. Just learn how to make time for her.
#5 Trying to tailor her to your taste
We all have stuff we don’t like about the people we love and wish we could change them, but that doesn’t give you the right to try and change them. People come as a package, but it’s not as easy as saying take it or leave it. If you truly want her then you’ll over look the stuff you’re not so fond of. If you try to change her, you’d be slowly taking away who she is and what makes her, her. whether that be certain traits, habits or whatever. Just accept her as she is.
#6 can’t get over the past
This one other than ruining the whole thing, just hurts. You have the right to know each other’s past if you ask me, but you unquestionably have no right in judging her or holding it over her. What happened had happened, it’s called past for a reason.
You loved the person who is with you now, in the present. So, you either just accept it and let it go, or let her go.
Dating is no longer a new concept to Arab guys, most of us at least. Having a relationship could be hard, annoying, stressful, but without a doubt it can be the thing that makes you happy. Falling into any of these mistakes could mean the end to a very beautiful thing, look out for them, just be you and you’ll be fine.