FYI, They Can’t Claim to Love You When They Don’t Treat You Right

By: Zaynab

The world’s full of dipshits. We know that because we’ve unfortunately had to deal with our fair share of them, and regretfully enough, we’ve probably been them at some point. It’s important to know that being in love or in a relationship or friends with one are entirely different things. It means you’re close to that person, and so you’re prone to being treated the only way they know how to treat people-that is the shitty way. This leads to things which we’d all rather not go through, such as being left out, or belittled, or feeling unappreciated, or being treated like a doormat, etc.. Another important thing to know is that when this happens, that person has lost the right to claim that they love you-at least until they prove it.

Let’s start with an extreme yet pretty suitable example: abusers. Whether it be emotional or physical abuse, anyone who inflicts that kind of pain on a person does not deserve to say they love them. They don’t deserve anything, quite frankly, especially when they utter the phrase that means so much to people and taint it with memories of harassment. Take Melissa Benoist as an example, she is literally Supergirl. She’s known for being smiley and optimistic and she’s a role model for many young girls all around the world. Around November last year, she posted a video admitting that she was a victim of domestic abuse. I was astounded by her bravery. You could see the pain she was feeling as she talked, but she kept going to raise awareness about this. Of course, you can’t help disliking (that is, to say the least) the guy who did this to her. So yeah. Someone who abuses you-in whatever way- has no right to claim they love you unless you allow them to. 

Alright, onto slightly lighter topics. Let’s focus more on another aspect of this, yeah? Say you meet someone. There were fireworks, and you really think this could be the start of something special. Your relationship develops and you start falling for them. Fast forward to a bit after it gets serious. You’ve been sensing a change for a while now, but you’ve been in denial. It’s safe to say that you guys have had your fair share of disagreements, but you tell yourself that it’s natural. But now it’s like you can’t talk to them anymore, not without feeling unappreciated. Not without them being condescending or insulting, anyways, or making you doubt your worth. There’ve probably been many red flags before this, but I’d like to say that this is about the biggest. If this happens, you should immediately get out. Don’t let someone treat you like that. Don’t let them make you doubt yourself. Don’t let them convince you that this crappy treatment is love. That’s unacceptable. 

 They can’t claim that they love you when they don’t treat you right. They just can’t. Love is not about dominance, it’s a partnership, a compromise. It’s not about one person making the other feel like shit, then convincing them it’s their fault. That’s abuse. It’s not about being the only one putting in the effort and then letting it go because they’re busy or exhausted or *insert other excuses here*. That’s being unappreciated and you can’t claim to love someone if you don’t appreciate and adore their presence in your life. Don’t do that to a person. Don’t mar their perception of love to suit your own purposes. You can’t do that. You just can’t. 

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