Is Taking a Break Actually Good for Your Relationship?

By: Kanzy Nada

Will it end up like Rachel and Ross or will the break inevitably turn into a break-up? 

The ultimate unanswerable question. A dilemma faced by most couples at least once during their relationship. A question which when asked is quite usually neglected. Why, you may ask, and I think that is because there are too many possibilities and all are different for every couple. Taking a break from your relationship isn’t going to go as planned and it most definitely isn’t a one-size-fits all type of situation. So, before you start taking any kind of action, you need to know everything surrounding this notion.

A wide section of people stand by the fact that if you want a break, then you’re open to seeing other people so you might as well just call it quits without investing yourself in a break that’s nothing but a prerequisite to a break-up. These people believe that “Adults don’t take a break”. The day you dive into adulthood is the day you wave breaks a goodbye and maybe have just enough time to plant a kiss on it’s cheeks. Sleep. Work. College. Family. Life becomes chaotic and we forget what breaks are. 

Onto the second opinion, people who believe that it depends. If you really want to take a break you need to be clear about it and discuss what that break entails thoroughly with your significant other. The length of the break, will we stay in touch? Are we open to seeing other people? As long as both partners are clear on the logistics of how the break is going to go down then I think it might work out just fine. Otherwise, if both partners aren’t on the same accord then it’s guaranteed to fail. Rachel and Ross didn’t discuss the rules for their breakup so, when he slept with someone else it was considered cheating, and no, the “we were on a break” excuse won’t cut it here. If they’d have set boundaries regarding the breakup, we wouldn’t have been forced to watch them untangle this intricate web of bullshit for SEVEN seasons.

Sometimes people become very enmeshed in a relationship and lose their sense of self and judgement. They lose their balance in life, and it’s about rebalancing and reflecting on everything. Simone Bose, a relationship therapist and counsellor says “Usually, getting that space gives them time to reflect separately helps,” she explains. “If the couple doesn’t get that, they start arguing again because they haven’t had time to heal. To get through it, they have to untangle all the negative patterns and understand where they’re coming from.” And a break – done right – should do just that.

Separation is much easier said than done and one wrong move can be the ultimate fall of the relationship. Sometimes it is necessary to reflect on everything, look at everything from a new perspective, and determine changes that need to be done in order to piece back together your relationship. You must also be honest with yourself about why you want a break in the first place, for example if you’re afraid to end a relationship and just using the “break” excuse to put it off then NO, you shouldn’t take a break, and instead be straightforward with your partner.

You wanna know my honest opinion about this whole matter?

السنجلة مش عيب

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