Is Online Dating for You? I Downloaded Minder, Here’s What Happened

We’ve all heard of Tinder. Most recently kaman in the Dolly Parton challenge and we have a pretty good idea what goes down on Tinder so I had no interest of diving into that mess. But have y’all heard of Minder? The Muslim Tinder App? Yeah, that face you’re making right now (which you would only be making if you didn’t know about Minder) was exactly what my face looked like (x100) for about half an hour after I found out about it too, 5 days ago. And seriously you guys, I am telling you, my life legit hasn’t been the same ever since. 

I started looking up what it is. And it is just like what the name suggests. Literally a Muslim Tinder. There were reviews about the interface, how credible and secure it is and how it actually facilitated finding Muslim people near you, which is great if you live in a foreign country and the majority of the people you meet are not Muslims. But the article that caught my eye and got me hooked just by reading the title was one where the reviews were written by people who downloaded the app and used it for a whole month. Now I don’t have that kind of time on my hands but I thought I’d give it a try anyway. 

So, today I downloaded Minder and it was the funniest thing ever. First of all, when you’re signing up, naturally, they ask for your info and a couple of pictures for your profile then they ask you to take a selfie (which will not be seen by anyone) to verify that the person in those pictures is, in fact you. And from that moment on, your profile is “pending approval”. They go through the profile, making sure there isn’t anything inappropriate, that everything makes sense and that you are in fact who you say you are. Then the app gives you 350 swipes, 350 people to go through every day and you have to either swipe right or left. But what amazed is that there is third option, a “flash button”, if you will, and if you click on that flash button you appear in the other person’s list of matches even if they didn’t swipe right on you.

I used up my 350 swipes in the first two hours after the app was installed. I used a fake name, fake age and basically fake everything of course. I swiped left on the 350 guys that appeared on my screen. They were all guys between 31 and 47. I came across an 18 year-old though; I have no idea what he was doing on there. One wrote in the “ideal marital timing” that he doesn’t plan to and I couldn’t help but wonder enta bete3mel eh hena tayeb madam you don’t plan to? Another wrote “It’s time to settle down  …”, and there was one who put his picture with a cat. And my personal favorite, a cat related one, wrote “premium cat facts available on request”. Also, lel asaf, came across a couple of guys I know (so awkward). 

My brief experience with Minder wasn’t disastrous at all. I actually think Minder could be a modern version of our grandparents’ khatba, or that one tant who always comes up to you in gatherings and weddings and without any openers just instantly goes “msh hanefra7 beiky ba2a ya habebty?” then proceeds to tell you that she has “the most amazing guy for you”. The future of Minder is still unknown, but one thing we do know for sure is that up till this moment people are actually taking it seriously as there has been no reported cases of catfishing, plus the guys who signed up are definitely keeping it PG13, which is so not the case on Tinder khales. 

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