“I often need reassurance because I overthink a lot. My best friend always points out that I’m being needy and clingy which only makes me insecure and behasesni eni te2ila ala kol el nas el hawalaya.”
One too many times, I’ve found myself neck-deep in a conversation with a friend about whether I think she’s “too needy” or if she was wrong for wanting a certain thing from someone or the other. It’s, well, it’s a mess.
“I have never been told that I am needy but most of the time, whenever I fight with someone, it is about them not caring about me or because I feel like they’re doing less than they should be doing and honestly, sometimes I think that maybe it is me who has a problem and I am the one who is asking for too much. Maybe I need too much that not many can offer.”
There’s certainly not enough words to describe how angry and frustrated I am for all the people who suffer from the likes of egotistical assholes who aren’t nearly mature enough to say half the shit they say to others.
“Well, I actually was told by my sisters that I’m too needy because I happen to struggle with social anxiety and constantly need reassurance when I’m outside. I do feel like a burden sometimes because as a person who struggles with mental health issues I usually expect a lot from people and can often come off as extremely needy, although that’s far from my intentions. I just can’t help it.”
“Growing up, I had a lot of needs/wants. The simple needs and the ones that people called useless. Whenever I asked for something or indicated that I wanted it, I’d look at the person’s behaviour and gestures. I concluded that I am too needy and stopped asking for almost anything. Now that I am a teenager and I can think without having my thoughts clouded by my parents or siblings, I have realised that what I was asking for wasn’t that much, they were just the simple needs of a child.”
Something I keep hearing over and over again is that the someone these people had relied on for emotional support or otherwise always let them down. To the point that almost always, they end up blaming themselves.
I get it, really, helping others out is really not that easy sometimes, being the shoulder someone needs to cry on is something not a lot of people can be but NO, that in no way is an excuse to blame the person needing it for, well, needing it. For needing the support, or help, or even just the presence of you around them.
As humans, we’re not isolated creatures, we thrive in groups, in communities, in the presence of loved ones, and it is not wrong to want someone to talk to or to need something from someone. Since when has the verb “need” become a bad one? Since when has it been so badly stigmatised that people who are “needy” are instantly at fault and need to resort to talking to their therapists about it? Come on people, really? Why?
I will say it over and over again and I will forever keep on saying it, if you’re not a person who is physically, emotionally, or mentally capable of supporting another then don’t become a parent, don’t become a girlfriend/boyfriend, don’t become a best friend. If you’re not willing to accept others how they are, accept that we’re not independent creatures, then just don’t. Don’t be the person who mentally scars others, just because they’re too selfish to think logically about the relationships they form. Just don’t.