Should Your BF/GF Be Older or Younger Than You? Does it Even Matter?

By: Marie Kamal

is dating someone younger or older than you a problem? Does age difference really matter when you are trying to pick a partner? These are the questions many of us ask ourselves. I am going to tell you all about the struggles you can face when your partner is younger or older than you.

Imagine with me, you finally found this guy, he’s everything you have ever wanted: he’s well-off, handsome, tall and insanely sweet; the only “issue” is that he’s older than you. No, let me take that back. He’s younger than you. Is there a difference? YES and NO. Let me explain myself. 

So, the first and most important struggle of dating someone of a different age is society. Is society going to accept the fact that a man is younger than a woman in a relationship? I am talking about our society by the way. Are your parents, friends, cousins, and even your neighbours going to accept that? I don’t think so. You know in our society, the guy should be the older partner because he has to be the “mature” one, but also because he’s expected to already have a well paying job and a stable life. If a woman is the older partner, society considers the guy is not a “ragel” anymore. She’ll be more mature than him, in some cases have better education which can “wreck” him. The “ragel” won’t feel eno mesaytar. 

On the other hand, if the guy is the older partner, he often feels like he has power in the relationship. He may think he has the right to make all the decisions – on top of the fact that his male ego already has him overinflated. It’s okay to once in a while let the man take the lead but it shouldn’t always be about him. I am not saying every guy is like this but overall that’s what I see.

Next, one of the struggles of dating someone older or younger than you is you may have different goals. Each one of you will start to concentrate on his goals and what he wants to achieve in his life and start to drift apart from the other. For example, let’s say your boyfriend wants to proceed his career and get a professional job. But you want to settle down, get married and have kids. In this case, one of you has to sacrifice his dreams for the other. Don’t get me wrong, this can happen in any relationship even if there is no difference in the age. But I guess it can happen more frequently when the age gap is big.

Also, you may have different interests and forms of comfort. Maybe you want to stay at home all day and play Fortnite while your girlfriend wants to go on a date in a fancy restaurant. Different interests can have an effect on your social life too. Your friends won’t be the same as your partner’s friends. Every relationship is different, but I think it’s possible that you don’t get along with your partner’s friends even though they are the same age as him/her. You might feel that you don’t fit in.

Last but not least, if you are the older partner, you may feel like you’re boring only because your ideas aren’t the same as your partner’s. You think it’s a good idea to chill at home and watch a movie while your partner wants to go to an arcade or is too busy with university or work. It’s okay to have different ideas and points of view, it’s okay if your partner is older or younger – irrespective of their gender, each and every relationship is no one’s business but the people who choose to be in it together. All it takes for a relationship to work is good communication, just sit down and talk y’all, age is just a number.

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