If He Wanted to Be With You, He Would Be – Maybe

By: Renad

The first time I read this statement I was like ‘yeah! If he wanted to be with me he would’ve done something about it’ and then I started thinking about it a little deeper which made me realize, nah, I disagree. Thinking about it made me realize that seizing the moment and just being with someone isn’t that simple, it’s not always about the two people involved, while it should be, and while we want it to be, sadly, its not. 

He may want to be with you but he knows the second he takes a step towards his decision you may lose your best friend because he knows she used to have feelings for him. He may want to be with you but he assumed that he’ll end up getting his heart shattered because he believes there’s someone out there who wants you, someone better for you therefore you’ll end up leaving him. He may want to be with you but he knows he’ll be leaving for college soon and doesnt wanna torture you with a long distance relationship. He may want to be with you but his ego is just so big to the extent that it overshadows any possibility of him making the first move. 

The more I thought about it, the more reasons I found to disagree. There are multiple reasons to stop him from being with you. You may be stopping him from being with you. You may be playing hard to get or not giving him any attention while your mind is flooded with thoughts of you two together. He may not know that, and not all people will allow themselves to take a huge step if they don’t feel any encouragement from the other side. Timing may stop him, society may stop him, you may stop him without even realizing it. 

I was pretty sure someone had an opposing point of view and the easiest way for me to understand that point of view was to head towards my trusty ‘shella’ group chat. After multiple replies, two of my guy friends had the same point of view, one that I ended up understanding and not completely disagreeing with. Their idea was when they really want to be with someone they will not let anything stop them from doing that, and one of them clearly stated that as a guy he may not think rationally and he will do whatever it takes to be with someone he’s in love with even if it may backfire, at least now he wont be stuck with ‘what if’ questions. 

Thinking about their point of view made me realize how strong our feelings can be and how strong they affect our decisions. Falling for someone means so much more that what their best friend thinks or what the future holds. Falling for someone so deeply can make you oblivious to rational decisions and that’s just the beauty of it all, the sacrifices, the craziness, the rush of excitement and the unmanageable feelings. At this point, nothing can stop you from being with someone you truly want. This is what falling for some truly means.

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