This past year changed me in ways I didn’t know I could be changed. It made me stronger, yet noticeably more faint hearted. It made me more open minded, yet it increased my moral compass and values. It gave me the will to be cold and heartless towards every new face and opportunity, yet it showed me that people need to feel love, now more than ever.
2019 was the best year of my life. Not the best in the sense that I didn’t feel pain or sadness as much as most years, because frankly, I felt them more than I ever had before, but because I was shaped into the most strong willed, kind, open minded, opinionated, and badass woman I’ve ever been. All in all, 2019 was a year of growth. I learned what it meant to have people stomp on my heart. I learned that you don’t have to do anyone wrong in order to be done wrong. I learned that no one will ever have the same heart as me. That doesn’t stop people from being blatant assholes, backstabbers, and hateful shits, but that doesn’t mean you have to be.
the way they try to make you, isn’t the way you have to be.
Let’s talk about the reality of this year. I’m pretty sure, to most of you reading this, that pain, heartbreak, and agony were things we’ve experienced this year. Whether that came from someone who broke your heart, loved ones passing away, or friends you trusted who turned out to be devils – we all probably felt those things more than ever this year.
I, personally, discovered that no matter how much you give to people, no matter how great of a person you are, and no matter how pure your heart is, they will still take you for granted. They will still mistreat you. They will still make you feel like that’s not how you’re supposed to be. The truth is guys, that’s how we’re all supposed to be.
Revenge being the new “trend” isn’t cool. Getting back at people isn’t cool. Stomping on innocent-hearted people isn’t cool. Hurting people is not cool. But then again, that’s what the human race has become. I’ve lost so many people that tore me up inside, and while I was sad, now I’m grateful. God is walking my path with me. At first, you feel like these people were everything, but with every aching day that passes, it becomes so much clearer that God was protecting you and lighting your path. Paving the way for you to have so much more than you did, so much better than what you’ve lost. Trust me, that’s exactly how it was with me.
Now, we can light the way for ourselves in 2020. This coming year is going to be the epitome of self love, growth, and strength. Whoever you are and whatever you’re doing, this year is going to be the year you claim back your life, like I’ve vowed to. Don’t let small minded people play any part in that. You are worthy and kind and have a heart of gold, and whoever can’t see that can suck it.
Don’t ever let anyone tell you your kindness is weakness, because their ignorance is. They tell you that you have to be bitter, cold, and ugly on the inside to match the world’s hatred. This is furthest from the truth. It starts with you. You are the change. We all are. Fuck all those people who were more like ropes around your neck, treat the rope burns they’ve left behind, be grateful for the lesson, and move forward without them. This year, we kick life’s downs in the balls with our kindness, our will to be happy, and our hearts full of love.
that’s how we win.