You say that every body is beautiful but you are more admirant of the girl with the flat stomach and the big boobs. You are turned on by the voluptuous girl in your class but when asked about her you explain that it’s too much for you and so does every other guy. You understand that in order to have a good body a girl needs to work out and eat healthy but you are intimidated by a girl that lifts more weights than you, has bigger muscles than you and eats more than you – and in other cases you make fun of the girl that’s always worrying about her weights, cries when she eats an ounce of sugar and misses hangouts to go the gym – according to you that is her being a basic white girl.
How can you say that each body is beautiful but you only compliment her and her body when you notice her being insecure? How come your argument for making fun of her body is that ‘you were only joking’ and then blame her for not being confident enough and remain confused that she can have low self esteem when she has a boyfriend. Yet , you tell her that she needn’t impress anyone because not only does she have a boyfriend but she doesn’t have any type of appeal to her. All of that clearly is alright as it all was merely a joke and it is her fault for being sensitive regarding her exterior.
Society creates the perfect body for girls to look at and dream of and many women – actually most women – do not have it or ‘achieve’ it. Women then develop unhealthy habits from a very young age and we can only trace it back to the female and beauty propaganda.
Surely, you’ve noticed – possibly the most beautiful girl you know being the most insecure one out of all of your friends. The girl with the biggest curves and who happens to be the most athletic , is the one that’s picked on by all the guys. Another one of your gorgeous friends developing a habit of restrictive eating, always counting calories and working out to burn them. Even your quite confident friends going on a horrendous diet in order to lose a few extra kilos before that big trip that they’re excited about.
The even bigger problem is, it’s not just about being skinny anymore. It’s being skinny , being thick , being slim thick , being curvy , being tall , being short , having flawless skin , gorgeous hair and being perfect. We are competing with ourselves because we are expected to meet a ridiculous image. You have to work out but only to the point where you’re toned. You have to be curvy but not too curvy, seeing as that will make you look chubby. You have to be skinny but only that your collar bones are prominent and your legs are slim. You have to be thick but only to the point where your legs and butt are complimentary to each others whilst your upper body is small.
That is me only discussing the bizarre body standards that we have to meet at a very young age and are ridiculed by our mothers, friends and ourselves for not meeting them. As well as those standards, we have to obviously be flirty but not too flirty. We have to take care of our looks but pretend like we don’t because that’s obviously shallow. We have to have a huge group of friends but pretend like we don’t because we must be humble.
Perhaps I’m not entirely correct, maybe the expectations are a lot lighter regarding that department.
In all honesty due to all of these standards many people have commented on my passion regarding that subject and calling me ‘angry’ and for some time that offended me , severely. But it no longer does. Because it’s true. I am angry , I am very angry that my entire life was spent on worrying about my weight and looks and how other perceived that I don’t even feel at this moment that I’m able to view myself as something other than simply not good enough.
You tell me that every body is beautiful. You tell me to love myself but you never affirm it. You tell me to love myself but only when I’m crying about it and realise how fucked up I am. How can you tell me to love myself and you justify it? ‘Love yourself, you have a great body, you have gorgeous hair, you have an amazing boyfriend that loves you, you forget to mention that I should love myself because I deserve it and I should love myself because that body, that soul, that face, that mind – all of that – is mine.