Would You Act Differently if You Thought People Weren’t Judging You?

By: Mariam Abdelrazek

I hate to cut it short but, yes, we would’ve acted very differently if we knew that the moment we turn our faces, people won’t scurry making up rumors about us just because they have nothing else to do with their lives. I’ve seen people judge others in extremely horrible ways, saying things that shouldn’t even be thought about, doing things based on these thoughts that are even worse. I’ve had enough of people judging others based on what they see and what they think they know about them, thinking they’re God or something. 

When a girl wears a hijab, doesn’t swear, doesn’t like showing much skin, she’s labelled as too conservative, boring, doesn’t do anything in her life but pray. 

When a guy is nice, calm and doesn’t like soccer for example, he’s labelled as gay.

When a girl is comfortable in her own skin, wearing whatever she wants, showing as much skin as she likes, she’s labelled as msh metrabeya. 

When someone likes spending time alone, they’re an introvert. 

When someone goes to therapy, they’re crazy.

When someone doesn’t fit specific beauty standards, they’re ugly.

When someone is confident, they’re showing off and tenkeen. 

When someone doesn’t wear the latest brands, they’re poor. 

We’re judged for literally EVERYTHING. Your clothes, your voice, the way you spend your money, your family, how popular you are, where you work, where you train, your friends, your grades, how you stand, how you eat, how you laugh, how you talk and the list goes on forever. We take all of these things into consideration a million and one times before doing the simplest action because if we mess up, that’s it, God knows what people will say about me. 

If we apply this to real life, let’s say for example a girl wants to wear hijab. She’s too scared. If she does it, what will people say? They’ll say she’s too young, too conservative, will people walk away from her? Of course, they will. No, bad idea. She’ll lose too much people. She’ll do it, but not now. The risk’s too big. She can’t do this. 

A guy wants to break up with his girlfriend because he just doesn’t feel like he really likes her – there isn’t a connection. He can’t do it. He has to wait for her to do something drastic in order to be able to do so. If not so, he’ll be labelled as a player. A heartless person that doesn’t appreciate other people’s emotions. 

Another guy is in desperate need for therapy. There are too many things going on. So much stress. He’s this close to losing it but no, he has to keep his cool.  El nas hat2ool eh if he seeked help? Akeed hay2olo 3aleih farfour. Hay2olo 3aleih over awy, mayesta7mel shwaya ya3ny heya fatra w bet3ady. 

These are just extremely minor and shallow examples of what actually goes on in real life and these minor things really do affect people very badly. Imagine this was applied to a more serious topic that can actually change lives entirely. If we were to live in a perfect world, none of these people would have to suffer as much as they do before doing things that they are completely free to do and would do in a heartbeat if just the simple act of judging was not there. 

We care too much about what people think and how they’ll react to us which damages us beyond repair. The person people are seeing? This isn’t the real you, this isn’t the real me. This is the version of us that works on satisfying people and their sick ideologies. This is the exterior that we’re afraid to peel off because if people see the real person on the inside, the one with the fire, the one capable of doing whatever the hell they want, we’ll face horrible consequences. People will punish us for who we really are because they’re so insecure they have to mock us to feel good about themselves. 

Piece of advice from me, ignore them people with every cell in your soul and body. Do whatever the hell you want to do. People are going to judge you anyways, might as well judge you for something that you really wanted to do. Own your actions and don’t be ashamed. In the end, those who judge us are also being judged. We’re all victims of the same thing. So please start with yourself, if you find yourself judging someone – and you will find yourself doing just that – stop yourself. Don’t do to others what you don’t want others doing to you. 

I won’t pretend that I’m a saint that doesn’t judge anyone ever, but I’m working on it. Own up your thoughts and have the decency to block them and change them.

A fellow judger that’s also being judged,

Mariam

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