we almost always pin the blame on anyone but ourselves, whether that’d be in relationships or friendships. But, do we ever stop to ask ourselves if perhaps we may be the toxic person in someone else’s life?
It’s not the end of the world. The good news is that awareness is the first step to changing something. If you’re ready to be honest and make some serious changes, you can move away from toxicity and move towards a better, more authentic and a healthier version of yourself.
let me begin by explaining what toxic is, because it’s nearly 2020 and everyone is running around throwing the word toxic on everything they see.
if you’re in a relationship you don’t like or you no longer want to stay in it whether it’s a friendship or an actual relationship, that’s a toxic relationship. if the other person doesn’t want to be in your life and you “force” them to stay in your life then that’ll evolve to be a toxic relationship.
IF you’re always putting the blame on someone else
the easiest sign to spot is, externalizing responsibility for anything that goes wrong ,Just think about it: seriously, what are the odds that in all of the fights, spats and disagreements you’ve ever had, you’ve never been to blame? this belief if super self serving and it’s time to ditch it.
a 6 letter word that could literally be the root of your toxicity, anywhere you go you’re gossiping, judging and making fun of others behind their backs. You’re probably lacking in diplomatic skills and taking juvenile pleasure in the gossip to boot.
we’ve all heard the phrase “kolo bygry wara maslahto” and while that is undoubtedly true , some people can be extreme when it comes to masla7a. If you’re only reaching out to friends and family when you want something (and disappearing when it’s time to return the favor), face up to the fact that you’re probably a net negative influence on their lives.
PS – *While I’m writing this all i hear is the song drama by roy woods, if you have time listen to it, the song slaps *
Bottom line: your life is not a sitcom, and every season doesn’t need a dramatic arc. “Drama” should be the exception and not the rule and toying with people in your life or using them as stimulation for your own purposes isn’t ok. If you’re bored, get a real hobby instead.
you’re passive aggressive
Or, you make affection conditional on your partner or friend being exactly the way you want them to be, rather than being themselves – which is kinda shitty when you think about it. While you never have to be affectionate with someone when you don’t want to be, using affection as a bargaining chip to get what you want in a relationship creates a toxic atmosphere for both of you.
We all deserve healthy relationships, and we can develop better relationship habits, as well. While being accountable for past toxic behavior can be painful, it should also feel hopeful. Confronting your past is the first step in the journey to a happier and healthier future.