We May Fall in Love by Chance, but We Stay in Love by Choice

By: Malak Hatem

Before I begin, let me just warn you that I am a hopeless romantic. I do not believe in love at first sight nor do I believe that women should wait around to be swept off their feet or saved by their knights in shining armors but I do however believe that there’s someone for everyone. I believe in soul mates and most importantly I believe in efforts. Efforts made to show the other person how much you love them, to what extent do you value their existence and how much of an impact has their presence had on your life. I believe in efforts made to make someone stay, I believe in the efforts that we make to stay relationships, be happy and make our partners happy.

We all hear in movies how falling in love is not in our hands, which is true. We never get to choose who we fall in love with; we don’t pick the timing (which causes some serious problems some times, but let’s leave that for later) and we don’t ever expect the how of it all. No matter how many books we read, how many movies we watch or how many stories our friends tell us; we never see it coming. Hence, the whole “you fall in love by choice” dilemma. Without waiting for your knight, your prince charming or your savior, without even realizing it, you fall in love.

Love has no timing either, it doesn’t always catche you at your best and it rarely comes when you’re ready. But that’s part of its charm. Love is unpredictable. And no matter how many times you stay up late gazing at the starts, admiring the moon, and wishing you were in the best love story the earth has ever seen, love will always find you in the most unexpected of times and the most unwanted of places.

Hopeless romantics, like myself, are not that few. We are a lot. We’re always rooting for love, no matter what the consequences are. And the whole process is like that saying, “A watched pot never boils”, it’s not easy going out (figuratively) looking for love and not finding it so when we fall in love by chance, we hold on as tight as we can. We know how rare love is; we understand its beauty and we appreciate its complexity.

We hold on with every bit of us. And that’s what keeps the story going. Like I said before, it’s all about the efforts, the little things you do to make sure that you and your person remain always happy. You’ve got to always remind them and remind yourself how much you’re in love. Cause people can be a little too insecure sometimes, and they might just need to be reminded that they’re loved. Make them feel at home. Because there is no better feeling than finding comfort in a person who loves you as much or even more than you love them. Go out, buy each other gifts, be silly and act like teenagers. Choose to live your days like there will be no tomorrow. Believe with everything you’ve got that you will be together till the end of time. And act like it. Fight and argue and talk it all out, then laugh about how stupid those fights were five years later. Or better yet, fight and make up and allow those fight to help you grow closer; allow them to help you understand each other a little better and don’t you ever think that just because you fought, things will come to an end.

Have faith in yourself and in them. Have faith in your relationship. Know that it can survive whatever comes your way because you are invested in it, because you love them, and because you’ve made your choice to always be there no matter what.

So stay in love by choice, always. It’s the biggest/warmest/absolute best gift you could give yourself.

P.S. if you haven’t watched “When Love Arrives” by Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye, you really should do that now.


A hopeful hopeless romantic.

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