Your 8 Step Guide to Getting Over Your Ex, Once and For All

By: Renad

Getting over your ex can be very challenging especially if your relationship was a long term one. One way or another you will forget about them and move on, it might take two weeks or two months, but you’ll get there. I’m here to help you make this journey go by as quick as possible.

1.     Let the tears flow

Do not expect to get over your ex when you keep your feelings bottled in. You need to let yourself cry, get angry, throw temper tantrums and stay in your bedroom for a couple of days, no more. Postponing all the flow of emotions will just intensify it overtime and you’ll find yourself breaking down and it won’t be easy to pick yourself right up.

2.     Disconnect

While stalking your ex, going through your old texts and watching your snapchat memories weirdly seem like the perfect things to do, I’m here to tell you that they’re not. Do anything to make sure you won’t see their name whenever you unlock your phone. Block them, mute them, do whatever, and no, it’s not childish. What’s childish is laying in bed crying because you won’t stop purposely going through their Instagram feed.

3.     Understand your feelings

After you’ve gone through the normal sadness and anger phases, you’ll go through a weird phase which is different for everyone. It’s just a mixture you won’t be able to comprehend easily so I suggest that you get a pen and paper and start jotting down the complex feelings you’re experiencing. It’ll just help you understand what you’re feeling so you can start dealing with them one at a time.

4.     Stop blaming yourself/others

You’ll find yourself blaming someone specific for your breakup whether its yourself, your ex or a third party involved, and while there is a thin chance that there is someone to blame, I suggest you cut it off. Blaming will do nothing but get you thinking about the ‘what ifs’ and I bet that’ll do you no justice. Come to terms with it and accept that its over. If it’s meant to be, it will be.

5.     Stay busy

Keeping yourself busy will save you from your own self. You’ll be preventing the unnecessary breakdowns and random thoughts that pop in your head to do nothing but make you get in your feelings. Plan your day, go out with friends, spend a day with your family, go shopping, facetime an old friend, watch a good movie or get cooking. You will definitely find something to distract you, just think out of the box.

6.     Look on the bright side

Instead of thinking about all the things you miss about your relationship, think about the experience as a whole, think about how this journey benefited you in one way or another, how now that it has come to an end it’s the start of a fresh and new chapter of your life, celebrate your independence. These are all things you should think about and consider rather than being negative about the whole thing.

7.     Plan your life without them

After being in a relationship for a while you’ve probably thought about a couple of things you wanted to do with your now ex, like go watch a certain movie, try a certain restaurant or visit a certain park. I suggest you go do these things with a friend cause if not, you’ll always have the thoughts floating around in your head. For future reference, whenever you see something and be like ‘oh, I can do that with blah blah’ and then it hits you that that’s over, call up a friend and get planning.

8.     Find your support system

At times like these you will need people who support and understand you because the last thing you’ll want is the people you’re surrounding yourself with to cause you even more stress. This has to be the perfect timing to let go of the toxic people and stick to those who actually matter, those who you consider your human diaries, those who won’t criticize whatever you’re feeling or going through.Things might not be easy for you during this period of time, but it’ll pass, and you’ll come out of this whole thing stronger than ever. Just make sure you put effort into actually letting go.

Good luck! 

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