Many people state that long distance relationships have a thin chance of working out. While this may be true in some cases, I still believe that there is hope in having a fully functioning long distance relationship. Here are some things you need to know to increase your chances in surviving a long distance relationship.
- Build Trust
Trust is by far one of the most important things in a relationship and with everything you feel being intensified giving the circumstances of a long distance relationship, you’ll need to focus on giving and receiving trust. Overthinking and excessive jealousy will probably accompany you frequently so trust is crucial at this point. You need to be able to depend on your own self’s reassurance rather than having your partner reassure you every time you talk because this will not make it any easier for both of you. If you’re serious enough to keep a relationship going even with long distance playing a role you should also be serious enough when it comes to making sure that your own assumptions and overthinking will not get in the way.
- 2. Be Realistic
Being realistic is extremely important when it comes to adjusting and dealing with the long distance relationship dynamic. Setting over the top expectations will do nothing but result in disappointment and will definitely cause your faith in the relationship to gradually fade away. Do not expect that you’ll communicate all day long, do not expect 5 hour calls late at night every single day, do not expect that your partner will not build friendships with new people and that you are completely sufficient (no offense). Make sure your expectations suit both of you.
- 3. Understand that schedules change
When you’re first separated from your partner, you’ll find yourself adjusting your schedule to talk to them as much as you can and they’ll most probably be doing the exact same. While it’s great that you get to talk so frequently, things will have to change. You won’t be as flexible, and you won’t be able to adjust your schedule for them. Your 2-hour call before bed might be cut to one hour for a week, your frequent facetiming will probably decrease a bit during a small period of time. You need to understand that this doesn’t mean you’re drifting away, this is completely normal, you’ll just have to adjust and know that there will be days where your calls and texts won’t be extremely frequent.
- 4. Look on the bright side
While the whole long distance relationship deal is not ideal, you can still make the absolute best out of it. You will be able to enjoy your independence a little bit more and you’ll get to enjoy your time with your family and friends. Also, think of it that way, long distance will make you cherish the times you spend together to a whole other level. Your time together will be way more memorable and this will just make your relationship stronger than ever.
- 5. Do things together
You can get creative with your communication together. Try taking your partner along with you on a shopping day using facetime, read the same book at the same time, stream the same movie, challenge each other in a game. All these things will make you feel like you’re not missing out on a lot, it’ll build a trail of memories and will also be very fun.
- 6. Don’t dismiss the boring details
You know when you’re telling a friend about something that happened and you just cut to the chase? This is exactly what you shouldn’t do when talking to your partner. Spilling all these simple details that may seem boring is what will keep you truly updated with what’s going on in each other’s lives. Tell them all the small things that occurred during your day, keep them updated with what’s going on with your family and friends and most importantly, make sure to let them know that you want to listen to all these simple details because these little things are what fill in the gap of physical distance between you two. \
- 7. Don’t over plan your time together
You’ll think that when you see each other you’ll want to do all the crazy things that couples you see in movies do but I suggest you kick in down a notch with the planning, let the time you spend together be chill, enjoy each other’s company, do simple things like going out for breakfast and then catching a movie. Do not stress on trying to make every second special because trust me, the time you spend together will definitely be special whether you’re at a fancy restaurant with candles or walking around the street with a cup of coffee in your hands.
This has to be it. Just know that if it’s meant to be, it will be. Cliché but true. Do not let anyone tell you that long distance will not work because if it means a lot to you, you will find a way to make it work.