I’ve talked about one sided love before. I’ve talked about how it makes you feel, how it manages to have an effect on every single thought that springs through your mind and how much you sacrifice for it. This period will come to an end and you will start moving on to better things, so now I’m here to tell you what it’s like to fall out of this inexplicably suffocating form of love.
It all starts with the day you decide you’ve had enough. This time you’ll genuinely mean it, you will not be saying this while something inside you is still holding on tight. This time you’ll say it and get a rush of excitement just thinking about how you’ll feel when you’re finally saying goodbye to this burden. You’re starting a new chapter; you’re leaving something that has caused you more bad than good behind. Just to be clear, I’m talking about the feelings, not the person.
After taking this decision, you’ll eventually bump into the person you’re soon to get over and the feelings will come back to punch you right in the face. All I have to say about this is that you’ll need time, do not expect that you’ll get over this person in a matter of days. Weeks will pass by and the time you meet them without having your heart skip a beat and hands sweat will finally come, you’ll feel weird, you’ll think your heart and mind are just fooling with you, you’ll tell your best friend about it and they’ll disregard it because to them, you saying you’re feeling almost nothing is a weekly ritual.
You’ll find yourself hanging out with the person you now once loved without feeling the whole zoo going crazy in your stomach, you’ll be able to get through a conversation without thinking about whatever’s escaping your lips a million times, you will not overanalyze every single thing they do, you will not get annoyed or crazy jealous over them talking about someone else, you’ll feel a weight lifted off your chest, you’ll finally be able to spend quality time with them, you’ll get to go home and think about how good of a day it was rather than thinking about how they’ll never feel the same, you’ll make good memories and have inside jokes since you’re finally back to being the charismatic, carefree you.
Yes, being in love had you engulfed in new and weird feelings but you’ll eventually realize how empty you were feeling the second you move on. You’ll now have the capacity to gain feelings for someone new, someone who may or may not be equally interested in you. You’ll feel like you’re finally free, you can hang out with someone you fancy without having someone else stuck in the back of your mind reminding you that you’ll go home and think about them rather than the person you’re currently hanging out with. You’ll get to experience new forms of mutual interest, it’s all exciting and new. All so refreshing.
Soon after all this your self-confidence will go way up, you’ll start feeling more confident in your own skin, you’ll stop being harsh on yourself, you’ll stop trying to change yourself in hopes that the person you once loved will love you back, you’ll be satisfied with who you are and any changes you will want to make will be for you, to please you and make you happier. Your relationship with your friends will get better, your relationship with the person you now think of as just a friend will get better, you won’t have to think twice about cracking a lame joke because you no longer excessively care what they think of you. You’ll be happier on so many levels. You’ll get back on track and things will gradually get easier.
Falling out of love is not easy, and I can’t tell you the exact steps to do it since we’re all different and the love we give and perceive is different, all I’m trying to say is that things will get better whether its now, tomorrow or in a couple of months.