This is Probably the #1 Reason Why Your Relationships are Failing

By: Amina ElFarouk

If you look at enough Instagram posts, you know the saying “keep your love life, income, and your next move private.” However, it seems like nobody on social media really heeds this advice. I see insta-couples everywhere on my newsfeed and friends going from “in a relationship” to “single” in a matter of weeks on Facebook. Social media has a funny way of making us more insecure about our relationships, it can actually hurt us more to have our relationships out in the open for everyone to see.

if you truly want your relationship to go the distance—and to remain healthy and strong while doing so—keeping certain things quiet, under the radar or even confidential, can be one of the smartest things that you could ever do.

because we all know what they say about opinions (everyone has one and they are just like a—holes; sometimes literally). Well, if there’s ever a time when there seems to be absolutely no shortage of them, it’s when folks catch on to a new relationship that exists. If you put it on social media, that gives the opportunity for exes, trolls and pure haters to put their two cents in. Even if it’s not online, you’ve got friends, on both sides, who typically choose to weigh in with their thoughts and perspectives (whether you like it or not).  so here’s a bunch of reasons why you should keep your relationship private.

1) You open yourself up to the opinions of others

How quickly we forget the lessons learned in childhood. Chances are if you grew up with egyptian parents you were told to keep family business out of the streets. Our parents and grandparents knew the consequences of speaking too loosely about family affairs. By discussing your issues with outsiders, you open yourself up to the opinions of others.

2) Everyone won’t be happy for you

Want to know who is truly happy for you? Fall in love. The unfortunate truth is that not everyone is going to rejoice at the sight of your union. While there should be minimal concern about other people’s opinions, it’s important to be mindful that miserable people don’t enjoy their own company. There are some people so distraught with their own lives they will go out of their way to ruin yours.

Your delight may breed haters who will drag confusion everywhere they go. Sometimes it’s best to be out of sight and out of mind. The less people know about your personal life, the less they have to speak on.

3) It opens up the chance for your ex to be in your business.

The only thing worse than strangers being in your business is having your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend watching your every move on social media. Hell bent and determined to poke holes in your new love affair, disclosing too much about your new relationship can leave you vulnerable to the antics of a scorned ex.

4) You can filter pictures, not your relationship

The desire for attention is not a modern concept. Feeding off the validation and approval of others has long been a source of motivation for many. The evolution of social media has only increased our lust for recognition and makes it easier to get. However, becoming intoxicated by the attention of others is dangerous for your relationship.

The world is dehydrated, and being a spectator of your love affair temporarily quenches their thirst. The concern arises when a couple is more in love with the glamour of having a social media relationship than an actual bond.

Keeping your relationship private keeps your motivations pure. You want to make sure that every day you decide to move forward in your relationship you are doing so because you couldn’t imagine a life without your partner, not because you are addicted to the false approval of social media viewers. That’s #relationship goals

5) You put too much pressure on your relationship

You don’t give people permission to idolize your relationship, but they do. Sharing every moment of your private life can put you in a position to be the prototype of real love. Suddenly, people convince themselves that they want what you have based solely on what they see online. This can be a lot of pressure on both people in the relationship. Now living to exceed the expectations of spectators, it’s easy to lose sight of what is really important, building an unbreakable bond with your partner.

Relationships are already hard work without feeling the need to impress other people. Give your relationship and your partner a stress free environment to learn, make mistakes, and evolve without feeling weighed down by the need to uphold a false image created by social media. Because, let’s be honest here – how many of you look at your grandparents, or even your parents–while admittedly it is less common in their generation–and admire the way that they’ve stood the test of time within their relationship?

These relationships started when there was no Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or Snapchat: no way of projecting their status and activities as a couple for others to see, judge and analyze.

Admiration, respect and attachment would grow through time spent with each other rather than through a perception of who someone was by how they appear on social media. People sought validation in their relationship through themselves, rather than looking for it through likes or comments under an Instagram photo. Simply put, the generations before us focused on actually being a happy couple rather than just looking like one.

moral of the story is داري على شمعتك تضيء

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