For all intents and purposes, I won’t mention any names.
Okay here goes; I’m going to take you back to 2nd grade, yes 2nd grade, where there was always this guy I saw in school, sitting alone, reading a book, studying or listening to music; now I know that sounds very lame to a lot of people, including my brother, who used to make fun of him for the longest time ever, but to me, that was the best thing ever. Because I’d never found anyone who reads as much as I do, I found this guy very cute and smart, too bad he was, like, 7 years older than me.
Flash-forward 1 year, I met my current best friend, we were as they say, two peas in a pod, we did everything together, our parents were friends, our friends were all common friends and to my utter surprise, she was as much of a bookworm as I was, if not more. As we progressively got closer, I found out, surprise surprise, the cute guy from school was her brother. To be honest, in 3rd grade, I didn’t know what a crush was or how to understand my feelings, all I knew was that I wanted to be around this guy but it was very weird for a bunch of 3rd graders to be hanging around a guy 7 years older than them.
As I got older, my best friend and I started sleeping over at each other’s houses and let me tell you, I was in heaven (according to my 10 year old self anyway). Because he was, almost always, the oldest in the house, as her parents weren’t always home, he would make us food and if we needed anything, we would ask him, we were always around him basically and it was great.
Now, all of this is happening and as I grow up, I realise that I actually have a crush on my best friend’s brother, her very old (compared to me) brother, might I add. I didn’t know what to do, sleeping over at her house kind of became torture because he was always there, but not really there? My feelings were a mess, I was sad, confused and in love.
By the time the 6th grade came, my feelings were buried deep down, never to resurface and my best friend was gone, she’d moved to another country, I only saw her in the summer and sometimes during Christmas, I would also see him, but he was, by then, a college guy. My only hope for conversation with him was when my best friend and I forced him to make us food. Kinda lame, I know.
8th grade came and I finally confessed to my best friend. She kind of already knew and she was very understanding, but there was also the reality of him never seeing me like that, which she made sure to emphasise to me, because as much as I grow up, he saw me grow up, I’m forever a kid in his eyes. I knew I had to get over him, but it wasn’t really a priority for me because, well, I only see him twice a year. Only twice a year is he in the forefront of my mind, so I wasn’t worried.
Now here I am, 17, and very much still in awe of him, my crush resurfacing when he’s around, and I still can’t help the flutter of hope inside me, that one day, maybe it can work out between us.
As a realist, I know it will never work out, he’s a college graduate, working and soon, moving out, I’m still in high school, still taking money from my parents and can barely coordinate myself around the roads of my country. It’s a sad story, but as Selena Gomez once said, the heart wants what it wants. And I want my best friend’s brother.
Ed3uli for my tragic love story please.