How to Know You’re About to Get Dumped

By: Zeina Elmofty

I’m bored of repeating myself but I just can’t. I‘ll say this one last time. Believe me when I tell you I’ve heard a lot of stories and even though I’m sort of, okay extremely under-experienced, there are some things I know. And when I tell you I know, believe me , I know.

Bet you now expect me to tell you this is one of these things I know, but the truth is I don’t. Why the hell am I writing this then? I’m trying be helpful don’t judge me, and don’t worry, I did my research.

Here goes nothing…and sort of, everything.

One very obvious indication would be the absence of the usual. Allow me to explain. Let’s say your used to a certain amount of affection from the person, used to certain words , actions or attitude. Used to a certain format this person has with and around you. Then just, it’s not there anymore. A very possible reflex action from you would be convincing yourself it’s okay, it’s probably nothing. Well let me tell you this, it’s not nothing. If you’re not treated the way you deserve or the way you’re used to , my man, that’s a big ass Red Flag.

Familiar with the “Pin the Tail on the Donkey” game? Well, let’s just say that there’s a chance you’re the donkey in our case here, no offense. If you’re about to get dumped, your partner tends to start and pin the blame of every single little thing on you. Truth is, they’re chickens. They’re cowards. They’re scared of admitting to themselves, to you or to anyone that they don’t want this anymore. Instead, they decide to convince you that you’re the problem, you’re the one ruining the relationship, secretly hoping that you’d end it and save them the trouble. Doing that, they’ll feel like they’ve achieved something because if anyone tries to find the bad guy, the answer won’t be them.

Yawn. The body movement that translates to either exhaustion, boredom or both. If conversations are like pulling teeth and the excitement is majorly toned down by now, if you’re forcefully trying to act ok but you know something is off. There. That’s one of the things you know. You feel like the whole internal firework show is not there anymore and it’s just umm…dry. Again, RED FLAG MAN.

Last but not least. The one thing thats literally as obvious as my big forehead, the infamous “Let’s Take a break”. I’m sorry but it’s over, over. Its not that breaks can’t be healthy but we never actually go for it unless we’re tired of the whole thing for good. Exceptionally, that’s not always the case. But let’s just say, save your energy and 2afel 3ala nadafa before shit gets messy. I’m sorry I’m just trying to be helpful remember?

Listen, just stop fighting for things that are bound to break. See what’s logically best for both of you and do it. If it requires running, run!

If it’s too late though, if you made major realizations while reading this first of all , I’m terribly sorry and second of all, let’s meet. I’ll bring icecream.

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