Hold up. Before you say anything hear me out. I was mentioning writing about this topic to my best friend, you know, taking her opinion and all but then the very first thing she said was that summer flings are never toxic and I went on saying: Hold up. Before you say anything hear me out. Fun fact: she ended up being even more convinced that summer flings can be toxic than I even am. Not convinced? Allow me to walk you through two very different stories.
Confession: All these stories are forms of exaggerated assumptions I make up. I might have not experienced any of this but I hear a lot of stories and by a lot I mean a lot.
It’s hot, you’re hot. You feel all sorts of salty and sandy and your hair is big and you don’t give a damn. You forgot your sunglasses but it doesn’t even matter because your eyes and the sun make a great combo. Songs feel breezier, you and your best friend are on the beach, one of you is dying to swim but the other keeps telling her to wait until she gets tanned first and every other conversation on that day goes about the same format.
Music is blasting, you’re unconsciously singing along extra summery songs you don’t remember memorizing and there it is. The moment. Two guys are walking by the water, you can’t really decide who looks more like your next mistake. You and your friend look at each other, you can see the instantaneous electricity spark that connected your brains through your eyes. Fudge the guys are approaching you, they’re smiling, they’re smooth and you’re giggling. And there it is. The moment started something that very much felt like a teen beach movie. Only one problem though, life ain’t no movie.
You’re laughing, you’re being flirty. This is good for you, this is healthy. You needed a distraction and you got it. What could possibly go wrong? And if you saw any movie to ever exist you know for sure that something always goes wrong after the infamous “what could go wrong?” phrase. So it goes wrong. The group of four is now a group if two, the flirting turned into touching, it’s not morning anymore and things are escalating and you’re now doing something you’re going to regret later.
To what extent though? Allahu a3lam. Don’t get me wrong, I have no right to judge what people do and don’t, re-read this article’s title. This is not about what you do, it’s about whether or not you really want to do it and who you do it with. Whatever you decide, it’s on you fam. The toxicity in this story is that summer tends to blind us from logic at times. The toxicity here is that the excitement blocks all your senses and when you regain them you feel sh*tty. Again, I repeat, this story is not about what you actually do, it doesn’t matter, what matters is how you feel afterwards.
Now onto story number two: Modern day Romeo and Juliette. A good guy, still very exciting and exceptionally very genuine. You feel different, you feel like yourself but a very different yourself than any other yourself you’re familiar with. The thought of “why the hell haven’t I met you men zaman?!” Crosses your mind and you feel that this person is not a person, he’s The Person. This situation is way more toxic than story one for one reason and one reason only, he lives in a different city. And it’s already too late, you’re already attached to him, you feel in love even if it’s momentarily. In that case you reach one of two conclusions, both disastrous.
The first is convincing yourself that it’s just a “fling” and it would go away but it doesn’t and you end up heartbroken. The second is both of you convincing yourselves that you can try the infamous long-distance relationship after the summer’s over, believe it would work out yet probably still end up heartbroken. I’m sorry if I’m being extra pessimistic right now I just worried about you fam. If you’re already in the middle of this though, I wouldn’t encourage you to back out.
Maybe…just maybe it could workout.
It’s hard to sidestep toxic summer flings, the excitement of it is too tempting. I have to admit it is in fact sometimes good for you but stay aware.
Know what you’re doing, now the toxicity level of it, acknowledge it and have fun.
Just stay in control and never give in without making sure that giving in is of no harm.
Confession: I always like to end my articles with a dramatic exit-phrase but couldn’t come up with any so I’m ending it with a confession instead.