An Introvert’s Guide to Slipping Out of Parties

By: Mariam Abdelrazek

Parties. What’s not to like about them? Let me rephrase that; what’s there to like about them? Loud music blowing up your eardrums, people you don’t know the first thing about giving you weird looks, the only person you know is busy socializing while you’re too shy to dance or too awkward to actually have a decent conversation with someone. Add to this the fact that the food is shitty. At least most of the time it is. Worst of all? You can’t get out; you can’t escape this and you think “I’m screwed”. Well, think again because, your guide to slipping out of parties has finally arrived.

It’s easy to say that parties in real life are nothing like in the movies. When it comes to slipping out of them, however, things can’t get any easier. The best and most effective way to slip out of a party is by having a good excuse. Thankfully, there are countless excuses that can save you during a party. The most common one that works all the time is ‘having a stomachache’ or a really bad headache and you can’t endure the loud music anymore. Pretending to have an angry parent that wants you home asap is also a lifesaver and it always works because who can stand up to an angry mum/dad? Exactly, we’re all cowards when it comes to parents “in a mood” – Lord knows they’re scarier than the IT monster. 

Before we move on to the next solution for this nightmare, you might want to ask, why go to a party you don’t like anyway? Let me tell you why. There’s always this person that is keen on making their introvert friend more sociable. Always wanting to bring them out of their comfort zone and encouraging them to try new things. I don’t think I need to explain how annoying and infuriating this person must be, nor do I need to clarify that they are most probably the reason you’re sticking out in the party like a sore thumb. You were dragged there against your will. Other times, when we willingly go to a party, it turns out to be completely lame and boring. So yeah, that’s basically it. 

Back to mission escape party. You’re definitely not the only person in the party not enjoying yourself. There has to be another person that has a bit of a hard time. They don’t have to be an introvert or the stereotypical type of person that doesn’t enjoy a party. They could be the coolest kid out there and they’re ‘not feeling it’ this particular party. All you have to do is find that person and bond over how boring or lame or below your standards the party is and voila, you’ve made a new friend and you’ll probably have a lot more fun than you did before.

Here comes my personal favorite. Ghosting it. Leaving the party without saying goodbye is always an option. I know it’s kind of rude. Well, very rude. However, no one will notice your disappearance and you can always smooth down any ruffled feathers with the host the next day by saying how much you enjoyed the party or how amazing the food was. 

Last but not least is leaving with the laughing group. Yup, the laughing group. When there’s a group of people about to head far away from the party and everyone’s chatting so there’s this huge buzz in the air, this is your chance to sneak out. Grab your belongings, kiss the host goodbye and blend in with the group until you’re safely out of the party. Things get easier from here. Just take a taxi/uber home and voila, mission accomplished!

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