Allow me to just clear the air. I’ve mentioned in like 8 previous articles that I am no “relationships” person and that I have few to no experience when it comes to being with someone and all these ummm…stuff. Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is, you don’t have to have experience to know what you want your (future) partner to be like. Whether you do or not though, I’ve got you bro, because trust me, I’ve thought about this a lot.
Confession: Yes, I have thought about this a lot but I haven’t really came up with enough things everyone would actually relate to so I asked a bunch of my friends what they’d want in their partner too. So yeah, what you’re about to read features input opinions of 9 complete strangers to you. Nice.
Disclaimer: this article is most likely one huge cheese bomb I’m about to drop on you so try not to cringe and read till the very end because this is important.
Hint: The previously mentioned disclaimer just gave you a hint that I wouldn’t want a cheesy partner. ThanQ.
Imma start by saying a few of the very “badeheyeen” characteristics you already have in mind, or possibly forgot you had in mind.
I’ll start with the obvious and one of the most important. The characteristic that for me is a deal breaker if a person lacks it. Three words. Sense. Of. Humor.
Before you say anything, I know I’m no stand-up comedian and it’s not like I’m the joker of my group or anything but I love laughing, you know? I’m sorry if this sounds shallow but it just keeps the relationship fun, I guess? However, keeping a relationship light doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s not a serious one. A healthy relationship is one in which you feel comfortable, in which you’re enjoying yourself and toxicity is not even slightly there. A perfect partner would be one who’d amplify your craziness with absolutely no hesitation, one who is not ashamed of having you, no matter how much of a weirdo you are, one who’d say “yala beena” for any adventure but who is also mature enough to know when he should be serious.
Now onto another obvious point. Honestly and loyalty are a must. And I guess it’s needless to say why, you need someone who’s into you and only you.
We all want a friend. We all need a friend. Your lover (or whatever uncomfortable name you guys call’em nowadays) should be your best friend and these are facts sis. He should be your best friend to understand you, have fun with you, tolerate you when you’re acting off, listen to you when you need to talk and be comfortable enough around you when he does. We all need someone who is accepting and is not just okay with but who also loves us even when we aren’t in the best place or mood at the moment. Oh and I almost forgot, your partner has to click with your friends and blend in your “shela”, because if they do not approve, expect to hit him with the “boi, bye.” Sooner than later. We need someone who’s always on the same page as you, who understands you without your need to explain yourself and even when they’re not, even when you fight, it’s actually healthy and you actually figure sh*t out. Someone who doesn’t hold grudges or bring up pasts.
Last but not least (drumroll please), Ingredient X. What’s that, you’re asking? Well, I believe that ingredient X is one of the most wanted, if not the most wanted characteristic you’d want in a partner. Ever heard of having a type? That’s kind of that. Ingredient X differs from one person to another. The only thing that we all have in common is that we want the right capacity of something in this someone. Lemme explain. For example, Ingredient X could be wanting someone who has the right capacity of the sportive potential you have, someone who is as “farhood” as you are. Can’t relate to that? I’ll tell you another example. Ingredient X could as simple as digging muscular dudes or tall girls or whatever. I know that looks don’t matter but that doesn’t change that different people like different things. On a less shallow note though, Ingredient X for surprisingly a lot of people I know is having someone with the right capacity of two contradicting characteristics. Someone who’s equally cute as he is badass. Someone who’s equally crazy as she is mature. Someone who is funny and is always joking around but who’d still listen and know what to do if you’re going through something.
For me though, all these do matter but ingredient X is one thing and only one thing. Fireworks. Fireworks is the feeling you supposedly get when you talk to that person. The rush of excitement I guess. Some people refer to it as “Butterflies in my stomach” but I’d describe it as something more than that. It’s slightly similar to the “my heart’s about to stop” feeling you get while riding a roller coaster and going down the steepest part of the ride. So yea, fireworks. They have to be there and both you and your partner have to feel it.
Last but not least, a partner who’d give you a sense of purpose. Don’t cringe and hear me out. When you’re serious about someone, you feel umm…accomplished for having them. You feel like you don’t need to prove yourself or anything to anyone. You’d very willingly just sit back, relax, lay everything down and just live with this person on an island or something. I’m exaggerating but you get what I mean.
That’s basically everything I have that more than one person might relate to. Then what? We now know what we want, I hope. Fen baa? Problem is that there is no way this perfect person exists and even if he does the demand on him/her is too much so let’s be realistic, your partner or lover is not someone you can customize or control how they’re like. Chances are, you might fall head over heels for someone completely different from what you thought you wanted, or you’re lucky enough to find the closest person to what you want. You never know. All I can say now is, be a person you’d want to be with. Does that make sense?