Oftentimes we unknowingly hold on to little, obsessive habits that cause us a great deal of stress and unhappiness. Even when we feel that something is wrong, we fail to seek the changes we need to make and instead cling to what’s not working, simply because it’s what we’re accustomed to.
We live in a world where we’re all constantly on our phones,comparing our lives to those we see on our feeds. from the girl with the perfect relationship to the boy who goes to the gym and lives a healthy lifestyle. Our phones drain us most of the time. We check for the number of likes, the number of followers and if out crush has texted us back or not.
When your head gets heavy and your eyes get sore, you know it’s time to make a change. It’s time to give up the habits that no longer serve your well-being and embrace the positive changes you need to be happy. Here’s a list of the habits that we need to stop to regain our joy.
The art of saying no, it’s something we technically do unconsciously. People-pleasers yearn for outside validation, their personal feeling of security and self-confidence is based on getting the approval of others. This is one of the crucial things that we need to do on our way to finding our happiness. Realise that you have a choice, set your priorities straight and consider if what you’re doing to please people is worth it. Because you can’t let people scare you away from what you want to pursue in life and you can’t live your life trying to please everybody, because if you do, you’re no longer you. You’re someone everybody wants you to be – and not everybody will have the same version of the you they want you to be – so it’s a mess.
2. Comparing your story to everybody else’s
I can’t stress this enough. With social media in our everyday lives sometimes we can’t help it , this habit eats away at our soul taking every ounce of happiness away with it. Instead of the “why me” card, start counting your blessings, you have to be OK with imperfection and focus on both your strength and how you can better to yourself to reach where you want to be. Don’t knock others down or wish them the worst. We as humans don’t like what we can’t have by default. But instead of focusing on what we don’t have let’s focus on what we do have. Know your triggers of comparison and try your hardest to avoid them, because as Teddy Roosevelt once said “comparison is the thief of joy”.
3. Forgive yourself and let go of shame
Shame is a deep, debilitating emotion, with complex roots and forgiveness is a process. It does not happen overnight and the process will be different for everyone. The reason most of us feel guilt or shame for actions done in the past is because those actions are not in line with our current morals and values. But we have to realise that the past is the past and while This seems fairly straightforward, but when we can really wrap our head around the fact that we can’t undo the past, the past is done, those things happened, we open ourselves up to more acceptance. Increased acceptance can lead to the emotional healing we are all looking for.
4. Fear of everything
Fear is one of the biggest reasons why we don’t move ahead in our lives. Fear of failing and fear of succeeding. Fear of the unknown. Fear of fear. As long as we are alive, we are prone to some level of fear.Ironically, to feel alive we must overcome that fear with action. Everyone has fear, even people who seem to have it all together are scared at least some of the time. I know it sounds cliche and I know it sounds almost too simple. The point is, you will deal with it, and everything is going to be ok. The vast majority of our fears though aren’t really needed for our safety, it’s the worst case scenario that we concoct in our mind that’s generating the fear. So, facing them is the answer and that’s just that.
5. Disorganization and laziness
We complain that there are not enough hours in a day to accomplish all we want, yet our laziness often leads us to many wasteful hours of disorganization. The groggy feeling of demotivation lies beneath the layer of disorganisation in your living space, and to be able to change something within you, change your environment. You can’t grow a flower in darkness now can you? The discipline it takes to sort through a messy desk, counter, closet or mind take time. Becoming organized is a habit; start with something small, like your desk or even making your bed after you get up. It’ll make a difference, trust me.
This is probably the most important of them all. Let’s break down the word gratitude first: gratitude is an emotion expressing appreciation for what one has—as opposed to ingratitude. This bountiful emotion that life is abundant makes a person feel grateful toward loved ones, colleagues, family and friends and, of course, mother nature. There is also utility in gratitude such as making amends or solving issues at hand. Sure, having more money and friends can be pretty awesome, but because of hedonic adaptation we quickly get used to it and stop having as much fun and happiness as we did at first.
Always remember that gratitude makes us feel happier.
That’s really all there is to it, slowly work on it, and I promise you’ll get there x