Our Least Favorite Ramadan Ads of the Year

By: Mariam AbdelRazek

We all know that watching a ‘mosalsal’ in Ramadan means watching ads because the truth is, five minutes into whatever we’re watching, we’re interrupted by a series of never-ending ads. The thing is, a couple of years ago, the ads actually used to be good and worth watching. This year, however, saying that Ramadan ads are a complete and utter disaster would be the major understatement of the year. I mean, other than the fact that half of them are either underwear or bank commercials, this year’s ads literally ‘bete2fel el wa7ed’ from watching TV – they’ve even invaded us on YouTube and Shahid. Seriously, when it comes to shitty ads, this Ramadan definitely didn’t disappoint. 

1. Always

Disgusting doesn’t even come close to describing this…mess. The music is beyond cringe-y – I won’t even mention how ‘mesarsa3’ the girl’s voice is – and the content is just weird. I mean, as a girl, I feel awkward watching it; I don’t even know how they managed to do that. It’s the typical sexist thing you’d see, this is why we still haven’t been able to normalize menstruation! And by the way, girls on their periods don’t sit around feeling ashamed that they have their periods. It’s ads like this that make most guys in this country shame girls for their periods and are disgusted by it. Maho da eli na2es, sexist ads that make us girls look like the vulnerable gender, what part of no gender is supposed to be vulnerable is difficult?

2. Embrator 

Sakhafa much? Whoever thought that this ad would be funny needs to get a new brain or understand what funny means because this is the furthest thing from funny. What on Earth is a ‘fanella 4G’? I still don’t understand. Such a perfect waste of one and a half minute of my life ugh.

3. Dice

The first thing that came to my mind when I saw this commercial was ‘What were they thinking?’. Was the director high or something? Why are people opening their robes and not facing the screen? Who goes to the gym in a ‘fanela’? So many questions. Not to mention, the commercial basically consists of one word, so much for creativity… I know Ramadan came very quickly this year but, that doesn’t mean that the commercial should look like it was made overnight – I’m sure there was time to come up with a better idea.

4. Cottonil

Torture to my ears is what this is. Sounds worse than nails scraping on a chalkboard. W bgad ya3ny, rabena yehdeeh… aw yeshfeeh. The guy who’s singing is probably as old as my grandma yet, he sounds like a my hyper-active, sugar-addicted 5-year-old brother.

5. Madinaaatyyyyyyyy

Dear Assala, this is Madinaty not New York wallahi. Oh, and can we talk about how long this commercial actually is? It’s also really boring – three minutes watching every square inch of Madinaty? Not the best way to spark our interest. Honestly, how many people don’t switch the channel when this ad comes up?

6. Sixt

In case you don’t know, Sixt is a car rental company. ‘Elhamdullilah msh 3arabeety’, this appears to be their motto. How is this supposed to convince anyone to rent a car from them? Okay, let’s revise what happens in the ad; something happens and the car basically gets severely damaged ON PURPOSE. What a way for marketing, really, Egyptian logic never fails to amaze me.

7. Watch It

El sabr ya Allah. Who names an app ‘Watch It’? they forgot to mention that there is no free trial even if it’s the first day. Da Netflix itself gives us an entire month for free. Everyone I know who used this app want their money back. So it’s easy enough to say that whenever this ad comes up, I want to rip my head off because listening to hypocrites is not really my thing.

Aaaand that’s a wrap. Let’s pray next year’s ads – and most importantly mosalsalat – won’t make us want to bang our heads against a wall. 

Kisses, 

Mariam

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