By: Amina El Farouk
In the society we live in, loudness is seen and interpreted as rude by many. Some may even tell you to act more like a lady or a man. Many people consider loudness to be a sign of confidence and while that may be the case, opposers of this view firmly believe that loudness is used to cover or hide insecurities.
As a loud girl myself, “you’re too confident” is usually the type of criticism I face, and on top of that, I occasionally get the remarks from elder people that I’m not acting “ladylike” and that being loud is very rude and offensive to some. What most people don’t understand about me is that loudness is how I overcome obstacles; it’s how I express myself and my personal little comfort zone. Being loud is part of me and that doesn’t necessarily mean that I use it to cover up or shy away from my insecurities.
If you’ve watched American Gangster, you’ve probably heard the quote, “the loudest one in the room, is the weakest one in the room.” When Denzel Washington said that, he was trying to explain how he had a ton of problems when he was showing off by being loud and how he had very few problems when he wasn’t showing off. That scene stuck with me since, because being “loud” is technically outside of the norm.
So what reason does someone have to be deviate from the norm? That’s when the speculation and theories enter, and this logic is transferred elsewhere…
People that drive big trucks, people that dress a certain way, bodybuilders, etc. Wherever the concept of “loud” can be seen, there might be an accusation of insecurity behind it, but ultimately this is very undisciplined, reactionary thinking. Being loud makes it easy to get thrown into a personal purgatory of self-doubt in these situations. Whether it’s a social contact or a business interaction, people who want everyone to know how big they are by being loud can make the rest of us feel pretty small.
Just think how much better you’d feel if you could brush these situations aside and go on about your day without doubting yourself and your life. It turns out that armed with a simple set of detection tools, you can not only help yourself feel better, but also recognize the weaknesses in the façade of those practically perfect quiet people that surround you.
People who mask their insecurities by being loud and exposing themselves to others (in order to seem invulnerable) are often easily distinguishable from those who are respected enough to speak loudly justifiably.
The latter person is secure enough to talk in a manner which corresponds to the message he seeks to convey his audience, and as such will only raise his voice when the situation necessitates it. However, the insecure person will be loud just for the sake of it, but can easily be demasked to be a fraud thanks to us being social animals and having the ability to discern a person’s level of confidence, which will also be displayed through their body language and thus be diametrical to their loudness – by which they seek to come across as a leader.
As they feel insecure, they try to attract people with their outgoing attitude. People who have this personality often need attention and compliments otherwise they lose confidence. If you know someone who has low self-esteem, try to strengthen the person, support them so that they can overcome every kind of insecurity that has been successfully hidden beneath their loudness. Loud people can wear masks, but it’s our duty to make them feel secure. Their low self-esteem and security will give them nothing, and at the same time, we will also feel guilty if we don’t help them overcome their problems.
We should always try to play active roles in making the people around us feel safe, secure, and content. All you need is a bit of kindness, a dash of patience, and a whole lot of love.
