The 10 Types of People We’re Used to Seeing in Ramadan

By: Salma Mourad

“Kan fi nas bet7areb f ramadan 3alafekra. Enshafy shwaya”

It’s that time of year again. The sun is shining, we’re practically melting and the fogged up, ice cold water you’re keeping in your fridge can’t help you – or at least not until 7pm. 
Ramadan is here, kids! And for that, I decided to sum up a list of the types of people we see throughout the holiest month of the year. You ready?

1) The Met3assab(a)
You’re not the only one that’s hungry and tired, you know that, right? This one’s cranky, moody and angry all the time. They can’t make it through the day without their usual cup of coffee, and food is just bæ. If they’re smokers, it’s even harder. You probably don’t want to mess with this one at all, they’ll drive you crazy.

2) The Tired but Wired Type
They’re the complete opposite of the previous type. They’re calm, sometimes even energetic, and even though they’re hungry and thirsty, they know how to control themselves. They’re so calm to the point where you start doubting they’re even fasting. Te7essuh dakhal akal men warako wala 7aga. We all aspire to be you, tough soldier.

3) The Mosalsalat Junkie
That’s the person you text for recommendations and airing times. They watch everything. From Donia Samir Ghanem’s yearly funny series, to the 3rd season of Kalabsh. They don’t even keep track of time, they watch anything and everything – what finals? If you need procrastination motivation – they’re it for you.

4) The Napper
You don’t see them till 1 hour before Iftar. They’re basically not fasting. Awake at night and asleep the whole day. Unlike the last type, they probably don’t even watch any series, or they binge watch them later on youtube. How convenient is it to go to bed and suddenly find yourself standing in front of a table full of mouthwatering food?

5) The Sheikh
Doesn’t miss a prayer, has a seb7a and mos7af at all times, their favourite part of the day is tarawee7, and they’re like a cop throughout this whole month. They keep a list of what breaks the fast. They love to alert you when you’re doing anything “haram”, you may find them a tad offensive, because they seem like they’re judging you, but they’re mostly not (unless the voice it).

6) The Useless Commentator
“Sayem wala zay koll sana?” So original. Bane2adam Fa2ee3. The one you really need to fight the urge to punch in the face. They get on your nerves so much, you’re just sick or on your period, you repeatedly have to listen to “Ya fater ramadan, ya khaser deenak”. Enta malak enta ba2a? We don’t particularly like this person, but it’s Ramadan. We gotta tolerate them, but if you’re doing this, please stop. Don’t be the reason I break my fast, thanks 🙂 

7) Nefso Yefalles
No Ramadan without gatherings, and they’re this person’s only occupation during this month. They buy supplies as if there won’t ever be food again. And of course, never forget the decorations!! It’s all about ennohom yefalleso.

8) Elly Me3deto Makhrooma
Most probably, they’re the one that gets fat after ramadan. They eat so much at Iftar, for dessert and later on at so7oor. For them, Ramadan is just about the food. It doesn’t end, it’s a consistent food fest. Kefaya akl please.

9) Abo Me3da 3asfoora
This type of person gets used to not eating the whole day, that when it comes time for iftar, they normally don’t eat that much. At so7oor, you have to force them to eat, so they don’t starve to death the next day. Ramadan is usually the month they lose the most weight in, even if it’s not their intention.

10) Elly Beyeshteky 24/7
They complain about anything and everything. We’re all starving, but they specifically need to remind us of it all the time. Avoid these people at all costs! They’ll just make you even more hungry than you were before.

That’s it! A list we can all relate to this month. We either are one of these people, or we see them everyday. Or both. Good luck anyway, you’re going to need it.

Happy Ramadan!!
Salma Mourad

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