Your Hymen is Not Your Virginity and Your Virginity is Not Your Hymen

By: Hanya Kotb

Hymen.

Virginity.

Hymen and virginity?

For the longest time, hymen and virginity have been tightly linked together. If a woman’s hymen is intact, she never experienced intercourse. However, if a woman’s hymen is ruptured, it is immediately assumed that she has had her fair share of, well, sex.

But what is the hymen, and why was it ever linked to virginity? Why are cultures so obsessed with it and why were we never educated about this very idiotic yet still very much controversial topic?

The hymen is a thin membrane that surrounds the opening of the vagina, and like anything else, it differs from one person to another. As do eyes, lips, noses, breasts, etcetera, etcetera. What it is not, however, is a wall, a hymen is not a wall, it is not, clear enough?

Some women can have a very thin, almost invisible hymen, and some women may have to perform surgery to remove the extra tissue. Some women have higher elasticity which doesn’t lead to the rupture of it during intercourse. Some even have naturally open hymens and some women don’t bleed with the rupture of their hymens. This all already diminishes the idiotic idea that having an intact hymen indicates virginity.

Do you still not get it? Let me continue slowly explaining in the hopes you get it, please.

There are certain activities – that aren’t necessarily hardcore – that may tear the hymen. Riding a bike, falling off of it, doing yoga, using a tampon, or even doing the splits. And the hymen does not grow exactly as it were, just like anything else in the body, it heals, but it will never be the same as it were before. Does that mean you lost your virginity to your childhood bike?

Let me even get it from another view, if you may.

Is virginity simply the abstinence of the penetration of the penis in the vagina? Or is it the abstinence of sexual activity in all? Because if it’s the latter, and you still tie hymen to virginity, then one can have different sexual activities that have nothing to do with the hymen, or they may even be cautious about it.

I personally believe that virginity differs from one person to another, depending to their personal structure and views on it as does sex; it’s complicated and only up to you.

What’s new, and incredibly surprising, is that you can actually cover up the fact of a ruptured hymen now. Technology and the 21st century are fascinating things. Hymenoplasty is the surgical repair or construction of a torn or ruptured hymen. Funny, yea? So women can now resort to fixing up their

hymen if it has been torn which demolishes the entire case that has been built and questions, if not demolishes, the validity of the whole hymen-virgin bullshit.

I believe that this is simple enough for the majority to be able to understand and comprehend and that I’ve broken down how the hymen is not relevant to virginity. I also believe that this weird confusion stems from the lack of sex education, from our problem with sex, and from all the ways people feel that they have to prove themselves to others, and quite disgustingly, through their children, their young and blooming flowers.

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