Let me tell you about a friend. A friend who was constantly bullied when he was younger. He wasn’t beaten up at school, never came home with a ripped off shirt or a bruised face. He was actually quite the strong handsome young man, and everyone knew they could never lay a hand on him. He wasn’t called names or given nasty looks. He was a normal kid, and even though he was never directly offended, he was bullied in some kind of way. He was being excluded by friends. They’d go anywhere, he wouldn’t be invited. They’d sit together, he’d never feel like he fit in. They never made him feel like he belonged. Always had that feeling of being unwanted. They didn’t punch him in the face, and sometimes he’d wish they would, at least then he’ll be able to fight back. Lately, bullying has taken up many forms. Whether we do it or not, subconsciously or on purpose, it’s always there. We just don’t realize how hurtful we can be. Or do we?
What are the indications that a person is a bully, whether purposely or not? What identifies YOU as a bully?
1) You spread rumors you don’t even believe
Rumors are the cause of many reputations getting ruined lately. If you’re that type of person that actually spreads them, whilst knowing they aren’t even true, then you’re doing something incredibly wrong.
2)You enjoy gossiping and calling people names
Ohhh, how fun it is to sit,talk and judge people with a group of friends, am I right? We get carried away and start laughing and discussing matters that truly are none of our buisness. Though we fail to notice, gossiping is an incredibly common form of bullying, and sometimes we don’t even realize the effects our words can have on others.
3)You derive satisfaction from others’ failings
I have no clue why, and you probably don’t know the reason yourself, but seeing someone fail just internally pleases you. You actually get a sense of content. It may be driven by jealousy,or the hateful feeling of anyone being even slightly better than you are, but people’s hurt makes you happy. It’s not only something you psychologically need help with, but it makes you a bully.
4) You take out your stress and anger on others
You have a fight with your friends at school, and go home and practically torture your parents and siblings, just because you’re in a bad mood. Taking out anger and displeasure on others is a strong indication of bullying, but the type where we don’t really acknowledge how much harm we cause people, especially the ones we love.
5) People are intimated by you
Either you threaten people to get what you want, or your presence is simply something they fear, people are intimidated by you. Whether you notice it or not, you do something that gives people the vibe of being uncomfortable around you. It may give you the feeling of being in control and powerful, but what matters in life is making people remember us fondly. Not associate the thought of fear and hurt with our names.
6) You’re in a group that excludes others
Peer pressure. We’d do literally anything to fit in, to belong. We long for acceptance, and therefore we’d do anything to gain it from anyone. We follow people blindly and seek their validation, and leave around a mess we’re still not ready to clean. You’re in a “cool clique” full of bullies that gossip, laugh and most importantly, make everyone around them feel like less. You may not want to do it, but being in a group of bulliesautomatically changes you into one. Never leave someone out, especially if they’ve never done anything to upset you. It hurts.
7)You want to be known as tough
“Why don’t I punch him? Maybe then I’ll have a place with the guys..” As mentioned in the previous point, we always want to prove ourselves. Even if it means destroying other people’s lives. Being a man isn’t defined by how big your bicep is or how many fights you’ve won, but by the way you treat and respect others. Violence is never an option, let alone a solution.
8) You’re bullied. So you bully.
You’re bullied, pushed around by others. Made fun of. Many people who are bullied, only see it as normal to be bullies themselves. It’s only fair that people feel the same hurt you did. But others who are bullied, perceive bullying as a horrible act, and therefore never wish that kind of harm on anyone else. I advise you to be like that. Treat people how you want to be treated.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”