I have no idea why I specifically chose to write this but I really felt like I had to. You might hate me because we got into a fight. You might hate me even if you don’t really know me, you just see me around and get this pit feeling that I’m annoying. You might even just hate my face. You might not hate me, you just don’t like me. Either way, this is for you.
A lot of people call me “mohaza2a” because I tend to umm…apologize for no reason 24/7. Well, gotta be honest, I do. Not the point though. Point is, if we got into a fight, there is a 99% possibility I’ve already apologized so what’re you doing hating me bro? Fine, put this aside. I don’t get why “hate” even exists. Well yeah I hate things, but never people. Just hear me out okay?
Nevermind, I was about to get carried away telling you all the reasons why I don’t believe in hate and try to convince you too but then realized that this is supposed to be um…about me. Damn, not used to that.
Allow me to start over.
I know what you expected to read. You expected the good old “screw haters” and “I don’t care what people think of me.” I don’t disagree, problem is though, I do care. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not at all about my “reputation” or “public image” because seriously I couldn’t care less. It’s not selfishness but I just like to have absolutely no bad blood with any living, breathing human. Absolutely no beef. Keeps me umm…positive?
People think I’m childish and as much as I hate to admit, I might be. But I’m better off that way.
If you hate me, come talk to me ya sahby. I don’t bite.
I wasn’t born with self-love. I don’t care if you think what I’m about to say is cheesy because I really did grow to love the weirda** bean I am today. I’m proud that I know how to enjoy my own company when I need to, how I make my friends laugh, how I make myself laugh (ouch), how I treat myself and keep whisper/shouting cheers to myself while studying, how much of a strong bond I have with my siblings, how much I’m an absolute weirdo who does stupid stuff, and the list goes on. I’m sorry if I sound selfish. If you know me, you know that I’m not. It’s just that I’ve come such a long way to actually have this much self-appreciation for you to not appreciate that. If you don’t, I should tell you to go screw yourself but I don’t want that. All I’m saying is you’re seriously missing out fam.
I feel like thanking you. One, because you’re actually reading this. Two, I wanna say for making me work on myself even more but I honestly don’t want to give you credit for that. Three, I have no other reason but I can’t just write two so…
Dear my hater-to-be,
Before y’all attack me for being naïve, hear me out. I am not saying that we should let people’s bullying get to us. This is a different story. If people make you feel bad about yourself, cut them off, on spot. If they don’t and you think you have the chance the change the way they see you, just take it. What’s so bad about getting on the good side of someone? Your “Karama”? Let me just tell you, people get it all wrong, it doesn’t work like that. YES, you should know your worth. YES, you should not settle for less. But if you have the ability, right now, to gain a friend. Why don’t you?
As much as I shouldn’t, I love you.
Zeina El Mofty