I’m not claiming to be a relationship expert, mainly because there is no such thing. Every relationship is different because every person is different and that’s kind of cool to think that no one can ever or will ever have the relationship that you have right now. You don’t necessarily need to be in a relationship especially if you’re still a teenager. That time is reserved for experimenting and just having fun on your own, trying to figure out your own brain as it molds into the woman/men that you will be. Trying to discover what you can offer to the world. But, if you can do that in a relationship then way to go you!
New relationships are very complex and sometimes awkward. You’re basically merging two lives into one – it’s something that a lot of people do (which is actually wrong) but I’ll get to that later. Things don’t often go the way that you may expect them to and they will definitely get rough and unstable from time to time, so I gathered some things that I learned about relationships in hopes of saving yours.
I’d say this is the most important thing in any relationship, friendship, or even with yourself. Trust is the number one most important thing to have with your partner because if you will spend a lot of time with them then you need to be able to trust them and talk to them about anything that you’re feeling – you don’t have to, but if you do want to then you should be able to trust them. And a relationship is nothing without trust.
Talking every day is not communicating, believe it or not. Communication means you have to listen and hear very closely what your partner is saying. You have to understand. Misunderstanding is 99% of new couples’ problems and it’s kind of sad that you’re fighting about something that isn’t real, all because you weren’t really listening very well or because you just didn’t understand where they were coming from. So, listen carefully and make sure your partner understands the point you’re trying to reach or get at to prevent an future arguments. Also, you don’t have to make unnecessary assumptions when you find something a little fishy or odd, give your partner a chance to explain themselves always because you may just be overthinking and overreacting. Ask and understand.
#3 Time Management
Again, a very important point. Talking to your partner every day, 24 hours isn’t really the best or healthiest thing to do in a relationship. Now, I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t talk to them or that you should ghost them or any of that. Simply, learn to manage your time properly and efficiently. You can play video games, study, read books, watch movies, go to the gym and do much more if you manage your time correctly. You can very simply do so by making an agenda or to do list. They are an addition to your day, not your whole day. It’s also important to know that spending time apart does not mean that you love each other any less, it’s healthy and normal to want to spend some time alone. Merging both of your lives into one or “being the same person” isn’t a necessity to a happy and healthy relationship if anything, it’s irrelevant.
Honestly, there is nothing that i hate more in the world than jealousy. It makes me feel like there is no trust in the relationship and like im suffocating. Obviously jealousy is a normal human emotion when someone is intimidated or almost feels like they may be replaced. And i have been guilty of getting jealous, unfortunately there isn’t really much i can say other than don’t let jealousy control you.
NEVER. TELL. YOUR. PARTNER. WHAT. THEY CAN. AND. CANNOT. DO. I seriously cannot stress this enough. Do not control your partner or anyone for that matter. That is toxic no matter what you say or think. You have no right, no matter if you are married or dating or whatever, you have absolutely no right to tell your partner – or anyone else – what they can and can’t do, who they can and can’t be friends with, who they can and can’t hang out or talk with and what they can and can’t wear. It is not your place to tell them so and controlling someone is so toxic and inhumane in a way that I can’t even begin to describe. So, just don’t.
Now, this is by far the most important part of a healthy relationship. Consent. Most couples – especially in this day and age – are sexually active and that is fine, if they are both happy and are okay with what they’re doing, if they’re using protection, then I don’t really care (and you shouldn’t either). Forcing your partner to do things that they don’t really want to do, especially sexually, is the biggest red flag to any relationship. Pressuring them into doing so, threatening or blackmailing them, not taking no for an answer is not acceptable in any way shape or form. Yes they may be your partner, but still that does not give you the right to force that on them. Be patient and wait. Be accepting and most importantly get consent before anything.