Love Me

You’re Perfect. There’s No Man More Man Than You. Gorgeous. Intelligent. Commanding. Protective. Charming. Like a Snake. No, No, You Won’t Like That. Like a Lion. Proud. A Predator. There’s No Man I Love More. Is It Love? Or Am I Obsessed? I. Love. You. You Are My Prince Charming. You’re the Bad Boy That Will Go Good For Me. Only Me. Mine. You Will Be Mine. Someday. I Will Give You All of Me. Actually. I Will Give You More. I Will Give You the World.

Hold Me. Tell me I’m Pretty. Call me Back. Take Me Out. Breathe Me In. Give a Fuck. Stay. Am I Not Good Enough? Is There Someone Else? More Beautiful? Less Damaged? Is She Skinnier? Does She Wear Nicer Clothes? Does She Not Have Scars? I Know How You Hate Mine. Is It Just My Scars? Or Do You Hate All of Me?

Even If You Don’t Think of Me. I Think of You. All the Time. Whenever I Lay in Bed. In the Middle of Class. When I’m with Friends. When I’m at the Gym. Even When with Family. All I Can Think of Is You. Your Lips. Your Eyes. Your Hair. Your Body. How Your Eyebrows Crease When Confused. Or How You Always Smell of Old Leather and Stale Cigarettes. I Think of How Deep Your Laugh Is. Especially. I Think of How Sinful You Are.

Mine. You Will Be Mine. Mine to Text. Mine to Hold. Mine to Touch. Mine to Seek Comfort From. Mine to Go Out With. Mine to Cuddle Close. Mine to Please. I Won’t Let Anyone Else Have You. I am Perfect for You. No One Else Can Be. You Are Perfect for Me Too. So Perfect. You Can Do No Wrong. You Are Flawless. Flawless, and All Mine.

I Lied. I am Not Perfect. How Could I Think Myself Perfect? I am Flawed. Damaged. Tired. I am Not Enough. How Will I Make You Mine? When You Are An Angel and I am Only Human. Will You Accept Me? Drowned in Sin? Basking in My Own Ugliness? Covered in Blemishes and Goosebumps? I Hope You Do.

Oh God. Please. I Want Nothing. Nothing. You Can Take Away Everything I Have. Everything I Hold Dear. Everything I Love. But Make Him Notice Me. Make Him Text Me. Make Him Call Me. Make Him Care About Me. Make Him Love Me. Please. I Will Do Anything. Just Make Him Love Me. Make Him Love Me.

I’m Pretty, Right? Do You Find Me Pretty? Do You Think He’ll Find Me Pretty? All I Want. All I Ask For. Is for Him to Love Me. To Look At Me. To See Me. To See How Much I Love Him. To See How Many Fucks I Give. To See The Lengths I’m Willing to Go for Just a Glance. Maybe a Smile. Hopefully, a Touch. Will You Love Me? Will He Love Me?

The Darker It Gets. The More Plagued I Am. By Thoughts of You. Memories of Us. Well, No. We Don’t Have Any Memories. Yet. We Will. When You Love Me. But I Know of The Things We’ll Talk About. I Know Everything About You. I Have Faith. Faith That You’ll Come to Me. All Powerful and Imposing. You’ll Look At Me With Your Pretty Eyes. Throw Me a Smirk Maybe. We’ll Laugh. I Can See It. Like a Movie Playing in Front of My Eyes. I Will Make Sure to Look Perfect for You. Only for You. Always.

I Know Everything About You. I Know Your Favorite Color is Blue. I Know You Love to Eat Pizza. I Know You Adore Your Little Sister. I Know Which Netflix Series You Like. I Know All of Your Favorite Movies. I Know Where You Like to Go Out Most. I Know You Spend Your Fridays Writing Music. I Know Everything. See? There’s No One More Perfect for You. No One Knows You Better Than I Do. No One.

Delusions. That’s All This Is. A Bunch of Delusions. Tricks of the Mind. I Am Nothing. I Am a Shell. I Have Convinced Myself I Am Worthy of Even Thinking of You. But You’ll Never Love Me. You’ll Never Look at Me. I Know How Much You Love Her. With Her Luscious Curls. Her Mischievous Honey Eyes. Her Curvaceous Frame. I Know How Much You Love Her Intelligence. How You Admire Her Wit. How You Find Her Sheer Strength Intoxicating. Her. My Best Friend.

I Do Not Care If It Is Betrayal. If This is Cheating on My Best Friend. I Cannot Help That I Love You. I Cannot Help That I Think About You. I Cannot Help That You Mean Everything to Me. I Cannot Help Wanting You. Because I Do. Want You. Even If I Die in My Quest to Make You Mine. I Want You More Than Anything. I Need You. I Need You to Love Me.

My Heart Cracks Open and Bleeds Every Time You Throw Her a Smile. My Blood Boils When You Hug Her. The Air Leaves My Lungs Whenever You Buy Her Roses. Roses Are MY Favorite, Not Hers. My Legs Shake Whenever I See You Holding Her Close When She Cries. Through it All. All the Caring Gestures. The Gifts. The Surprises. The Caresses. The Love. I Scream Loudly and Repeatedly Inside My Head, Till My Skull is Pounding, Till I Cannot Breathe Anymore. Please.

Love Me. Love Me. Love Me.

“Love Me”: A Teenntimes Project

Concept/Art Direction/Writing: Fadila Khaled

Photography: Farida Maksoud

MUA: Maha Nagaty

Model: Hala Soliman

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