5 Ways to Apologize to Someone – and Why You Should

By: Zeina El Mofty

Allow me to start this off with a question: Why are you apologizing?  Now, allow me to also lay down all the, very obvious, possible answers to this question.

A. You did ’em dirty and you know it.

B. You don’t think you are one to blame but everyone thinks you should apologize.

C. You know for a fact you did nothing wrong but you are too naïve so you apologize anyways.

Now, let’s analyze these one-by-one, shall we?

Say, you are Person “A”. You did do something wrong. I’m just going to tell you one thing: bravo my boi; because owning up to your mistake, acknowledging it, and being mature enough to apologize are in fact – and no matter how cheesy it sounds – the steps to making things right with whoever you did wrong. But, on the other hand, if you are also Person “A” but you don’t feel like apologizing because your ego is too big to see than you are just another normal human being who can make mistakes, then , I’m sorry to say this, but screw you.

Moving on to Person “B“. You. Are. Making. A. Mistake. Listen, your friends might be right (or wrong), you really might be one to blame, but as long as you don’t realize it, apologizing won’t get you anywhere. Even if the person you apologized to believed it, it’s more important that you believe it too. Give the issue time so you’d think about it, make up your mind then take action. If you realized that you are wrong then apologize and freaking mean it, unless you took a step back and became Person “A” then we are back to “screw you”. If you decided that you did nothing wrong, shouldn’t and will not apologize then good for you dude.

If you’re the Person “C” though, before you get offended that I called you “naïve”, chill. Because I am a Person “C” too. You constantly feel the need to apologize to people for no reason don’t you? You feel like you are obligated to absolutely have no complications whatsoever with every single existing human you know. Welp, me too.  I’m so much of a Person “C” to an extent that I unconsciously say sorry to my pencil if it accidentally fell from my hand. And no matter how stupid, childish and self-downgrading it is, it’s a part of me that I like and won’t change. I’ll always apologize even if I didn’t make a mistake. Why? It makes me happy. I think you should try it sometime (at your own risk though). However, this means that the previous 2 paragraphs are completely off point and are useless. Why did I write them? Well, you know like to go big with introductions :s .

Moving on…

NUMBER ONE

Once, I got into this huge fight with my best friend over something I can’t even remember. Short story is, It was my fault and I knew it, but I seriously had no idea how to fix things. So ummm… I sent her a meme of a Donkey captioned, “I’m a donkey, I messed up, but imam make things right. I’m sorry and I Love you.” Next thing I know, we were back and better that ever. I know it sounds stupid and unrealistic, but that’s because my best friend and I are stupid. I can’t guarantee that the “meme-move” would work for you, I mean, there is a 50 % chance that you would be blocked, but if the person you have complications with is as silly as we are, just go for it sis.

NUMBER TWO

Since we mentioned blocks, let me tell you another short story of a fight I had with my other best friend. Also a long time ago, only this time I can’t remember whose fault it was, she and I got into a fight. Waaaay more intense that the one I mentioned earlier though. She blocked me, wouldn’t answer my calls, nothing.  I got up, bought some chocolate, went to her house and gave her a hug. Poof! We were back. Of course we talked about the situation for a while but conclusion is, everything was back to normal.

NUMBER THREE

In case the fight or complication you’ve got with someone is way too serious for any of the previous three ways to work, you need to do the following. You need to really really think of what you did and how much it affected that person, and when you start to completely understand, talk to them. Tell them how much you know that you’re the bad guy, how much you’re sorry and are willing to do anything to fix things and finally, how much you love them. If this person trusts or loves you enough, their find a way to forgive you. If they don’t, well, this is when Number Five jumps in.

NUMBER FOUR

For some or actually most people, forgiving is, not at all, something easy to do.  And that is nothing wrong with them. All you can do then is to let them know everything I’ve mentioned in Number Four, and ask them, even if they are not willing to forgive you, to just accept your apology. To take their time to process and heal, and if and when they are ready for things to be back to normal, you’ll be there for it in a blink.

NUMBER FIVE

There’s something I’ve been ignoring this whole article. In most of the fights that ever existed or will exist, there is not one person completely right and the other completely wrong. The world doesn’t work that way. The question here is, who was more wrong? The thing is though, the answer to this question doesn’t matter. For me at least. The best way out is to apologize anyway, and before you judge just hear me out. Whether or not you’re the person who did the bigger mistake, I believe you should just confront the other person. I’m not telling you to completely ignore their mistake. All I’m saying is that you tell them how much they hurt you, and how much they did too and finally that you love them too much to hate them for whatever the fight’s about. Tell them that you are willing to forgive them if they are too. That’s pretty much it.

There you go. Six ways to apologize to your partner, friend or even parent.  Just remember that it’s a process not just an “I’m sorry”. Remember that it doesn’t work unless you meant it. Try to make it a face-to-face thing rather than over text or a phone call, it’s always better. And if this doesn’t help…

I’m sorry.

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