Feeling Invisible: Battling Loneliness and Starving for Attention/Affection

By: Zeina El Mofty

Today’s story is about two girls who are living two completely different lives.

Let me start off with my usual intro confession, which is already obvious, but I’ll say it anyway because I feel like I should. When I say today’s story, you and I both know I’m not actually telling a story, it just makes it more interesting for me to write. Again, we both know I mostly only last as far as the “Introducing the Characters” part, so let’s just get it over with, shall we?

Girl number one:  let’s call her “Leila”

Girls want to be her, and guys want to be with her. Everyone, and by everyone, I mean everyone, knows “Leila”.  She’s that girl. The one with the countless Instagram followers, who is very annoyingly photogenic and gets at least a couple hundred likes on her least favorite selfie which, there’s a 50% possibility, she captions “About last night” or simply a lip emoji.  She loves being center stage, is naturally the center of attention and is unable to feel comfortable or “in her own skin”, if she’s not. It’s almost as if she’s starving for it. That’s because she is. And her friends? Yeah, they think so too, but they never talk about it. They couldn’t care less honestly. It’s almost as is they’re not really her friends. That’s because they’re not. They’re still there though. They’re there for the likes, comments, “slaaaayyyyy queeeeen” s, selfies, and the – wait for It – attention they get for being around “Leila”. And then interrupts my theory. They are all “Leila” s.  My theory feels incomplete though. Huh. For now, just acknowledge the fact (and correct me if I’m wrong) that you either are a “Leila” or know a “Leila”. Now, on with the story. Ehm…introduction*.

Girl number two:  say hi to our girl “Farida”.

A rare creature whose natural habitat is literally in the shadows of others. Others like “Leila”. People judge her, like a lot, but it’s okay because she allows it to happen. I mean, she judges herself, why shouldn’t they? Her friends? There’s no such thing. There can be but “Farida” doesn’t know it. At first, she used to cry about it. If she’s the writer type, she would probably write about how sad she is, poetry maybe? You’re probably already building a virtual image of her right this second and I can see it too. Don’t worry, I’m not judging how you see “Farida” because that’s how I see her too. And no, it’s not a shallow stereotypical image you’ve imagined. My bad, it is. Chill though, it’s a part of the story. I’m honestly already bored with this character.  “Farida” is sad and lonely, we all know it.  She knows it, and that’s why…nevermind I’ll save this sentence for later.

Disclaimer: complete theory coming right up.

You probably already guessed it, I’m sorry if you did and you’re hella dumb if you didn’t. Allow me to walk you through it. From the top. Try to find the correlation while I lay it down.

“Leila” is again, starving for attention, we’ve established that. But why? Well, when you’re hungry for both attention and affection, this means you’re most probably lacking being cared for. You need to feel wanted…correction: desired. You need to feel secure and loved. “ Leila” is the exact opposite of that, she’s probably the most secretly insecure person you can possibly know, and she overcomes her insecurities by boasting and overshadowing others. Others like “Farida”. Confused? Me too. I also thought “Farida” was the insecure one. She is. Huh? Okay hear me out. If you still don’t get it listen.

“Leila” ‘s friends = infinite

Infinite = fake

Fake = zero true friends

Zero true friends= “Leila” is lonely

*theory starting to make sense*

“Farida” ‘s friends = nonexistent

Nonexistent = “Farida” is lonely

“Farida” lonely= she needs attention

*drumroll for conclusion pls*

Leila = Farida

My last attempt of explaining:

Both “Leila” and “Farida” are lonely, therefore try to maximize the intensity of the spotlight reflecting of their faces, because when it comes down to this, attention seems like the best apparent solution. That’s at least what they alternatively do when they’re not hiding in their own shadows because it’s where they feel safest and most secure. I need to add one last point to my theory, and that is, we all have a percentage of both “Leila” and “Farida” blended in our personality. Whether you’re a boy or a girl, whether the percentage is high or low, it is there.  And here, is when I realize that I need to correct myself.

Today’s story is not about two girls.Today’s story is about one girl  who’s living two completely different lives

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