If you’re here for a light, funny read, then I am very sorry to disappoint you. I took it upon myself to ruin all of your favorite childhood memories. Forget what you thought you knew about the fun and happy characters; brace yourselves for the dark truth. Personally, I tend to thoroughly enjoy creepy shit so if you’re anything like me, this article is definitely for you. Let’s just jump right into it
1.Cinderella has Dependent Personality Disorder
Honestly, I am 100% convinced by that theory. Cinderella never wanted to be alone. She always needed people’s approval; even the ones who abuse her the most. People with DPD are often characterized by pessimism and self-doubt. Cinderella could have spoken up about her situation, told her stepmother and sisters that she deserves to be treated as an equal…that never happened though. She actually believed she wasn’t good enough until the prince swept her off her feet and she was finally taken care of. She was never independent or vocal about her rights.
Way too deep for a cartoon, huh?
2. Alice has Schizophrenia
I mean come on. How didn’t you see that coming? She’s a typical case. She follows a non-existent rabbit with a non-existent pocket watch inside a rabbit hole. This, of course, is all in her head. She continues to hallucinate the rest of the events of the movie. At the beginning of the movie, she even keeps saying ‘my world’ as if it were separate from the real world. And let’s not forget that when she was talking about ‘her world’ she was speaking to her cat so like..yeah.
3. Belle has Stockholm Syndrome
Stockholm syndrome is basically when the victim falls in love with their kidnapper because they feel safe with them which is basically what happens with Belle. Even though the beast shows excessive abusive behavior, Belle still finds a sense of appeal to him. Despite his mistreatment of everyone in the castle and his short temper, Belle continues to give him more chances. Also, let’s not forget that the beast held her own father captive before her and traded his life for hers. But, somehow, Belle seems to forget that when the beast starts showing her a smidge of attention.
Now moving on from princesses, let me tell you about the movies themselves that were originally written very…differently from the cartoons we all watch and love. Some of these cartoons were so gory that writers had to change the plot completely in order to make it appealing to children. I’ll enlighten you.
The Adventures Of Pinocchio was written by Carlo Collodi in the late 19th century. It portrayed Pinocchio as a rebellious young boy who refused advice from anyone even Jimenny Cricket (whom we know to be his friend in the movie but in the series he was actually his nemesis) and literary bashed the cricket with a hammer leading to the death of Jimeny’s character. Pinocchio was punished in brutal ways. He has his feet burnt off, was starved, and cruelly tortured for his misdemeanors. Every fucking chapter of the series showed various ways of torture for Pinocchio. Collodi, at the end of the series, actually killed Pinocchio. How you may ask? HE HAD HIM HANG HIMSELF!!! Of course the publishers at the point were like “Collodi, man, ya gotta chill ya know?” and had him change the ending but he still proceeded to torture the lead character Pinocchio in gruesome ways.
5. Snow White
The story was written in 1812 by The Grimm Brothers and let me tell ya, it was creepy. First of all, in the original version, the stepmother is actually Snow White’s real mom so that’s fucked up. What’s even more fucked up is that she asked the hunter to bring back her heart and liver, and when he brought her back those of a boar, she takes the heart and liver, boils them in water and salt and then eats them…yikes. When the queen decides to take matters in her own hands, she decides to she tie up her daughter and leave her for dead but the dwarfs free her in time. Another time she brushes her hair with a poisonous brush but Snow White still doesn’t die. Eventually she kills her with the infamous apple.
Above all that, the dwarfs were not as friendly was we know them to be. All seven of them forced her to cook and clean for their protection, otherwise they’d kick her out.
At the end of the story, when the prince kisses the corpse of Snow White and brings her back to life, the dwarves hunt down the evil queen and invite her to the wedding. Not knowing it’s her daughter’s wedding, she attends. There, the prince makes her wear metal shoes that were flaming hot and demands that she dances until she drops dead.
Great happy ending right? (If you’re a psycho)
6. Sleeping Beauty
You guys get ready for this because it is definitely not for the light hearted. Sleeping beauty was originally written in the year 1634. The storyline was more or less the same up until the part where a prince has to kiss Aurora to wake her up. In the original, a married king does that. Not only does he kiss her, he FUCKING rapes her and impregnates her with twins whom Aurora gives birth to while she’s still asleep. One of the twins eventually sucks out the poison from Aurora’s pricked finger and she finally wakes up. When the king’s wife learns of this whole fucked up story, she attempts to kill the twins but the king kills her first so I guess the king and Aurora live happily ever after???
7. The Simpson
I’m sure you’ve heard so much about this but let me just give you a quick recap on all the things the Simpsons predicted way before they ever happened.
•The spread of Ebola around USA
•The downfall of Greece’s economy
•Donald Trump’s Presidency
•The Siegfried & Roy tiger attack
•Rigged voting machines in the USA
•Hamburger earmuffs (it’s a real thing and it’s available for you to buy on amazon lmao)
•Horse meat scandal (in 2013 traces of horse DNA in Taco Bell btw)
And that’s about it! You guys can now go freak out all your friends and family and basically everyone you know with the things you’ve learned from this article. Go now! Go!