Dear Mom and Dad, I Love You but I Am Not You

By: Malak Atwa

Dear mom and dad,

You will always and forever hold a very special place in my heart. You were always there for me when I needed you, even if sometimes we weren’t on the best of terms, you were still there, right by my side, supporting me no matter what. I could never express the amount gratitude that I have towards you and no amount of “thank you”s will ever suffice.
You sacrificed so much to keep me happy, healthy, and alive – I owe you my life. You’ve helped me accomplish many of my goals and when I would doubt myself – which was quite often – you would push me to be my best self. You believed in me, sometimes. We fought plenty and we’ll continue to fight endlessly but that is only because we care too much for one another and we’re too stubborn to realize it, at least that’s what you have taught me.
I was taught many things growing up because of you, but most importantly I learned that life is a bitch. You either kill or get killed. I remember you yelling at me for crying because my best friend and I got into a fight. You taught me nobody is forever, not even your parents. I love you and I will forever be grateful for you.
Mom and Dad, I am sorry to tell you that I am not you. I make mistakes over and over again. I cry when I’m upset and scream in fury when I am mad. I get ambivalent about things and people. I fail, but that doesn’t make me a failure and you shouldn’t make me feel like I am, nor am I a disappointment for not doing something you’d wanted me to do. I am not selfish for taking good care of myself. You taught me to put the people I love before myself, to make them happy without a care for my own self, but I guess you didn’t know better.
We are two completely different generations, but before that, different people, please comprehend that. I am more hopeful about tomorrow and look forward to new opportunities. I want to travel the world, you want to stay home. I’m not a rebel nor have I done anything radical, so don’t worry about me. You raised me well enough to know right from wrong.
i know that you love me deeply and want to see my achievements, but I am not you, so stop trying to live vicariously through me. I don’t want to become an engineer, nor do I want to be a doctor. I want to write. I want to see the world and take pictures of it. I want to make a change, and I don’t have to be a doctor to do so.
I can be happy by myself, I don’t need a man. I don’t need to have kids to feel fulfilled and accomplished. I don’t want to be a housewife. I want to experience the world. This is not me disrespecting you, but confronting you. I am not you. I am me – and I am happy with that.

One thought on “Dear Mom and Dad, I Love You but I Am Not You

  1. Moms and dads perhaps wont get ur thoughts, neither they urge u to be smt u dont want and neither do smt u dont. Its just the idea of many of us that we don’t understand, that we take the literal meaning and leave whats between the line. Trust me If u just perceived them as being those who looks to u as part of their soul, or if u have the chance to see urself into there eyes, you would of cried bloody tears. We are the ones who should be understanding that despite that maybe their words are so outdated, trust me they blame you to be the best picture even from ther own selves, and that picture is what they can think of being the best. Like being a doctor and engineers, we better know they make nothing better than a great business man nowadays, while for them its the best name you can get in the society. So im sorry if im still telling u you are being selfish fa thats true cuz either ways, every single action is for your own sake. I have same problems as urs, mom and dad probably don’t like the way i want my life to be, they keep on making me تفصيل to what they see as best, bs im aware, every single action is to make the best out of you with bs اللهم just do what u have to do about what they require. I dont tell u that to follow the strict rules they urge u to do and be the one they ask u to be. No✋🏻 be yourself, do the mistakes for yourself to better not to take them just by being told to u, and do what u feel and see good 🛑BS KEEP TWO THINGS IN MIND. ☝🏻Do a mistake that wont break urself into shreds ( cuz it will be you and your parents behind) , and always always take ur mom and dad ‘s hopes as being a reflection of what they want to see without blaming them, ma hwa 3’asb 3anhom they put you in the top of what they best can think about best for you. Cuz by the end its u who’s a part of their soul that no matter how bad ppl you see they treat you, you are an eternal exception. Its all just for you without waiting from you something in return. “ a pure love after god’s love to you” Always look to the positive side of everything no matter how cursed it is

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