Hello and welcome to Zeina’s Neuro-Park and Resort,I am your guide for today. As you can see to your left is our gift shop, which you can visit by the end of your stay (if you can know your way back). It is now time for the tour.
- Keep your hands to yourself.
- Talk all you want about whatever you want but don’t be too loud.
- Avoid traps; we are not responsible if you get lost.
- Try to keep track of the paths we’re taking because when the tour is over and you want to go home, you’re on your own bro.
- Stay lit.
Now, into the labyrinth. Shall we?
Since we like to keep things exciting, we’ve built our infamous Horror House of Overthinking, right at the entrance. It’s exciting, confusing and let me tell you, it’s Zeina’s, aka the owner of this place, favorite and most visited place. If you’re into assumptions, anxiety and worrying yourself about your physics exam which is more than 5 months away, you’ll probably love it here. From there, we move forward, if you go east or west, you’ll be facing a dead end. (Warning: there is no turning back from a dead end).
Take two lefts and a right, you’ll arrive at our exclusive Cinemas where you can experience life through Zeina’s eyes. Only two halls are available so this is only offered to our VII’s (very important ideas). If you think you have enough potential and you won’t be overwhelmed by all the awesomeness you’ll be exposed to, maybe one day you can be a VII too. Also, feel free to take pictures by the Tear Duct Dancing Fountain. It’s usually out of business, but when it’s working, I assure you, it’s a beautiful sight.
I hope you’re feeling hungry because we’re making a stop at “Le étincelle” where sizzling thoughts are being cooked up this very moment.
And finally, for the most thrilling part of the tour, seventeen lefts form the cinemas, are our Neuro-Coasters, where a variety of rides are offered. First off, there’s The YouTube Loophole, one of our longest, most random and most interesting rides. We also have the dream and the nightmare rides, which are kind of a combo and are quite unpredictable. My personal favorite is the DJ-ride, it’s fast and it combines the most desired features of the previously mentioned ones: unpredictability and randomness. (Warning: dizziness will be rather frequent around here).
Sadly, this is the end of our tour. If you made it this far that means you are worthy ideas and Zeina’s fish memory was capable enough of memorizing you. You should all be thankful you we’re not one of the forgotten ideas who we’re far from just lost as early as we we’re still by the Horror House. You are more than welcomed to stay in our rooms and studios since the suites are already reserved for the VII’s. Hope you enjoyed the tour, and remember, from here, you are on your own. May the odds be in your favor.
You have just experienced a one of a kind tour around a demo of my brain/maze, disguised as one of my many stupid, awesome ideas. You’re welcome.