By: Yomna Halawa
Well when it comes to making important decisions, a hesitant control freak like I am is not the best. Months ago, a bunch of 18 year olds, including myself, had to decide what they want to do for the rest of their lives. Some didnt have so many options, but I had just enough to drive me crazy. I spent the past two years contemplating which would be a better choice. What I feared the most was regretting my decision. I was imagining how awful it would be if all my peers succeeded and I stayed lost with no clear future. I didnt have enough experience or perspective to be confident with my choices. I seeked so many people to help me make that choice and give me their insights. Some said go this way, some said the other. Not one person said something that helped me, all of them had different opinions based on their different experiences. I stopped listening because all what they said confused me even more. Then, I resorted to myself, I asked myself about myself, searched for the answer within. I dug so deep that I ended up with more options to think about. It was the eternal question: Should I follow my heart or my mind? And I definitely couldn’t answer that.
Now that I’m settled in a college with a blend of fate and choice, I still haven’t answered that question. But at least I came to a realization. It’s the element of fear, that kept me away from deciding. It’s the fear of being a failure in my society’s eyes. I went through this problem, this confused phase, along with many others, because society sets unrealistic standards on how your life should be. You should be either a doctor or an engineer. If you’re something else, you’re a failure but if you make tons of money, we’ll think about it.
What made me confident and grateful, was my decision to stay fearlessly lost. Now is not the time to plan every year of my life ahead of time. I am still beginning my life, what’s the point then if I have it all figured out? I don’t have to be dedicated to one career path. I should dedicate myself to learning the things I love no matter how many they are and no matter how much time it takes. I’ll do what makes me myself. And that’s it.
At the end of your life, It’s not about money, fame, or that degree. It’s about being YOUR best self. If you’re already done then good for you, yet maybe the best thing that would happen to you is one career shift away, 100 miles away, or 30 years away. If you’re still figuring yourself out, then get ready, you’ve got one hell of an exciting journey to start. And that is what matters the most. It’s what you will never regret and what you’ll remember at old age and smile. Keep your mind open, options open, and find what you do with passion. When you make it YOUR journey, it’ll be worth living for.