Musings of a Nerd Who Fails to Understand Love

By: Zeina El Mofty

My best friend tells me I’m the most practical person she’s ever met.

Fun fact 1: she is the most emotional person I’ve ever met.

She loves psychology, I love physics. She knows all about Greek mythology and I know all about computer science. She’s a Cancer, I’m a Virgo. She’s into astrology while I’m all about astronomy. So yeah, we’re pretty different except for that one thing: we both write. If you read a piece of hers, you’ll find it beyond just emotional. Her writings are full of expressions and implied meanings that will give you all sorts of feels, while mine are mostly just sarcastic. Oh I almost forgot, we’re both weirdoes. Guess we have more than one thing in common after all. While I could list an array of the things we don’t have in common, the most distinguishing difference has to be this: She knows everything about falling in love and I? I don’t even get love.

Fun fact 2: The word “love” has and always will sound cheesy to me and I always cringe when I hear it. Every. Single. Time.

Don’t get me wrong though, it’s not that I’ve never loved someone ( I mean I love my dog, my parents , my best friends, you , my dog again..etc.) ,it’s just that I have never been “in love” . I used to not get it . Let’s talk about my best friend again, you know, the one who knows all about falling in love. Well, she hates (and by hates I mean she wouldn’t mind killing their dog) at least 5 people she knows. She dislikes an exponentially elongating list of people, and when I piss her off, I’m temporarily added to that list too. So in conclusion: she only likes/loves a countable number of people, in love with only one. And then there’s me. Not exaggerating, but I don’t hate a single creature that has ever existed on our known planet (except for cockroaches because ew). Seriously, ask anyone about me and they’ll tell you how much of a chirpy, smiley bean I am. So how is it logical that a person who can’t even rap her head around the idea of falling in love has so much love to give, and that other person who thinks day and night about that one human who they’d die to spend just one more hour with and just doesn’t have the will or energy to give half that magnitude of love to anyone else. I had to understand, so typically, I came up with a theory.

Your heart beats for two reasons:

  1. For circulation of blood around your body, acting as a pump.
  2. For someone.

Theory:

When you are “in love”, your heart beats for only that one person. Every second and every drop of blood is fully booked for that one person. Your heart is fully occupied for that one, single person that its muscles are too drained for any other. Even if it tries, but your heart has too little energy to beat for anyone else.

When you are not “in love”, your heart has almost equal availability for everyone. Sure, it beats for some harder than it does for others but it still has enough energy to beat for all, regardless.

 

My theory is probably far from the scientifically explained or unexplained truth behind this, but it does makes sense to my obviously practical mindset and so I am satisfied.

You know what doesn’t make sense though?

Fun fact 3: I think..correction: I know , that one day I’ll probably “fall in love” . It would still, as always, sound cheesy to me but I will.

Fun fact 4: I know that my heart somehow would still have enough energy reservoir to beat so damn hard for that one person and simultaneously beat efficiently for everyone else.

Fun fact 5: I’m currently struggling to a theory to explain fun facts 3 and 4.

Question: Does a theory even exist?

Realization: Apparently, not everything has to have a theory.

My practical mindset at the moment: Error 404

 

3 thoughts on “Musings of a Nerd Who Fails to Understand Love

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