Letting You Go

By: Hana Haitham

i walk beside you
and i can’t help but dim my light
and stuff my mouth with a rag
so you don’t tell me i ramble uselessly
i can’t help but fix my expression
so i don’t seem too happy
i can’t help but not talk about my problems
because they’re unimportant to you

i also can’t help but hate myself
because i’m still with you
like i can’t trust myself to grow new wings
if only to replace, the ones you’ve clipped
i can’t help but hate myself
when i was alone, you were with another
when i sought comfort                                                                                                                          all i found was a cold and empty bed
and when i wondered if you’d mind mascara stains
i knew you didn’t care about me at all
you needed someone to warm your bed                                                                                      and that was all

i didn’t have the strength to leave
i stayed
feeling empty
being there for you endlessly

until i wasn’t
because i no longer walk beside you
i walk with myself
i no longer warm your bed
i warm my own
i seek shelter in my own arms
i hold the key to my happiness

i walk with myself
and i no longer think of you at all

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