When I Grow Up I Want To Be…

By: Hedayette

When someone asks you what you want to be when you grow up, the first ideas that usually pop up in your mind are: “doctor, engineer, fashion designer, blogger, etc.”, and those were the thoughts I had for a while, but not anymore. When I grow up, I want to be independent, I want to be kind, I want to be generous. Yes, these are qualities that should be there already, but what really measures how kind or generous or independent we are? We rely on others to tell us what we look like, if we’ve gained weight or lost it, if we’ve been to the girl at the cashier or too kind to the guy who broke your heart. But why? Why can’t I assess myself on my guidelines?

So when I grow up, I want to be nonjudgmental. Yes, as easy that sounds, it’s really not. Because without even thinking about it, we automatically compare ourselves to others. “ Are my lips that full?” “ Do my legs look that skinny?” “ Is my smile white enough?” And with not comparing ourselves to others, comes self confidence.

So when I grow up I want to be sure of myself. I want to be fully happy with who I am. It’s not that I’m not happy, but no matter how confident you are, there’ll always be this thought in the back of your mind telling you “they look better” or “they can buy more things” or “they have more friends” so essentially it’s “they’re better, you suck”; then you spend the rest of your life trying to be someone you’re not to fulfill these unrealistic expectations. They’re not unrealistic because they’re impossible to achieve, but rather unfitting to who you really are at the core. I bet you that all the people you’re comparing yourselves to, have the exact same thoughts you do, and on top of that, always have the pressure to maintain the image they worked so hard to create.

So when I grow up I want to be genuine and real. I don’t want to be the advertisement to a product, which is myself, but instead be the real thing: with all it’s advantages and disadvantages. I’m fine with being the product that breaks, but has a lifetime warranty, and can always be fixed. I want to be the product that can be relied on, but can rely on someone too. Yes, it sounds superficial to compare myself to a generic object, but isn’t that what we all are? We are all here to serve some kind of purpose, so above all that, I want to be purposeful, not only to myself, but to you too.

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