Enough With the Fucking Pressure

By: Nazly Abdelrahman

Trigger Warning: mentions of sexual assault, sexual pressure, allusions to rape, dubious consent, and sexual entitlement.

Now, I’ve already talked about the nightmare that is sexual entitlement. However, this isn’t as bad as it gets.

What is even worse than sexual entitlement, is the concept of pressuring your partner – sometimes even your friends – into doing something that they are not comfortable with. All types of pressure are bad, whether it’s to act a certain way, befriend specific people, to smoke, and much more.

But, the worst – and most revolting – type of pressure persists to be sexual pressure. Unfortunately, sexual pressure comes in a wide range, starting from something as simple as a kiss, to nudes, even to intense physical sexual pressure, and much more.

Before continuing, however, there is just one thing that needs clarification: pressure, or sexual pressure in specific, is not by any means related to the genders; pressure is horrible as an act, period. Whether you are male or female does not give you a pass to pressure your partner. Yes, most cases of pressure that are heard about are male cases, but this is all due to the patriarchy, and it sure as hell is caused by females as well.

Now, a lot of things can get you into this sort of sexual dilemma, but the most common causes are relationships and blackmail. Honestly, both cases are even worse than each other.

Let’s start with the more widespread one: relationships. Although teenagers in general tend to have sexual desires, this is not always the case. Sometimes, one person in a relationship might try to pressure the other into doing something. It may start slow, with just a question, but once you refuse, your partner might resort to different methods of persuasion.

It might start with him or her getting pissed over your refusal, and then you begin to feel bad for it and succumb to their ‘needs’. Moreover, he or she might tell you that you have no reason to refuse and that it’s completely fine, and you may end up doing whatever even though it makes you uncomfortable. If you haven’t been in this sort of situation before, let me tell you – the fear of losing a loved one can cause you to do many things you wouldn’t think of doing before. It is completely wrong, but sometimes you just think that this is what you should do and that you should take one for the team so that your partner is happy.

The even worse kind is blackmail, whether you’ve done something sexual together before, or whether you’ve sent nudes and you’ve began to change your mind over how you want things to go. Your partner may begin to blackmail you, and sometimes it isn’t even just your partner. Let’s say a certain so and so got a hold of your nudes, or found out something that you have tried to hide from people. That person comes and puts conditions on what you should do in order to keep your secret safe.

It sounds disgusting and inhumane, but it happens everyday all around us. You may be oblivious to it, but many people succumb to the sexual desires of others when they do not want to.  If someone is pressuring you in a relationship, try to let them go. Do not convince yourself that this is what you want just because they want it. If someone is blackmailing you, refuse, and own up to whatever he or she is blackmailing you with. It is hard, but it will become a never-ending cycle if you succumb once.

People need to get their shit together; it is completely not okay to pressure someone for your needs. Live and let live; not everyone has to live up to your needs and your expectations for them. Do not abuse another person’s love and mistake it for weakness; please think before you act because, trust me, things really do get out of hand. You never know how just one small event or an act of pressure can affect a person. You can change someone’s life just because you kissed them without their consent; you can cause a person to develop an insecurity just because they did something sexual uncomfortably.

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