The Transformation – Pre-Uni Anxiety

By: Zeinah Hesham

“All you have to worry about is school, your job is to study and that’s it.”

Sound familiar?

Maybe an adult or two said something like that to you?

Now you’re on your way to 18 , maybe university , you could be leaving the country and you’re going to be on your own. You’re going to college , you’re going to pay bills, deal with landlords, deal with problems at your apartment, up close racism, sexism, islamophobia, and possible homophobia.

But before you can worry about that, you worried about university. You worried about exams and tuition and placement and you doubted everything there is to doubt about yourself.

That time before uni is probably the hardest and worst time for us. We are completely showered with self doubt , we are questioning every decision we ever made and asking ourselves daily if we are actually good enough or smart enough to make. There isn’t even a time to worry about motivation because our motivation is our fear of failure.

You might even have everything memorized and you went into the exam and completely flunked it because of your body dripping with stress, panic and fear. If this hasn’t happened to you then first of all thank whatever god you believe and second you’ve stressed about that happening or you are currently stressing about that happening.

The thing our entire life was based on dependency and only worrying about the small things and now a few exams determine our entire life. They control where we go , what we do , who we can be with and who we become. A mistake can turn your life around and it can completely make or break your entire life.

Can you actually believe that?

A small piece of paper written by someone who doesn’t even know you will decide what’s going to happen to you in life and it is by no means normal or fair or even logical. Your brain is so powerful but anxiety and fear is filling it instead of joy and knowledge.

Education isn’t even enough at this point because there is no way in hell that you can work your ass off at school and suddenly everything will be fine , you have money to worry about. You have residency to worry about. Safety. Citizenship. You have so much to worry about yet according to everyone around you, you’re still a kid and you shouldn’t be worrying about casualties like that.

You have to think about every little detail and get your family’s approval and make sure that it’s a good choice and make sure that it’s safe and that the career path is correct. You have to think about all of this right now.

But guess what?

You’re still a kid.

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