I’m writing to you cause she told me that you listen, please don’t ask who she is cause you could find out who I am and I think it’s better if we remain strangers – strangers listen better. I recently came across something that highlighted the reason for my on-going sadness , it talked about how those who read books in primary or middle school that were beyond their friends’ understanding are now the most depressed and miserable people – their minds developed too quickly and their wisdom came before their gray hair and wrinkled skin and came instead with their acne and periods.
The more intelligent you are the harder life will be for you , you have to dumb yourself down to be able to have a regular conversation with someone and you have to calm yourself to be able to talk with someone in order to not get frustrated over their lack of response to the topics of interest.
Right now all what defines us and our intelligence are our grades, I think that’s why the term book-smart came along to show that grades actually do have a big value to your personality but I think it’s just a word that someone came up with to make themselves feel smart for testing well despite them being mediocre in everything else. Mediocrity is normal and I think most of us have a mediocre part in us but often that’s the only part that you need to succeed in life. You have to be mediocre to get the grades, go to university, and make money. You have to be something other than mediocre to do everything else, to matter and to connect. I think being different is always good but it’s bad when you’re still a kid and when you’re still a kid, all your life is about grades and mediocracy so when you pass that test, you can finally be different but then you forget what your different is and you spend your entire life trying to find but it’s already gone.
I wish that things were based on that different part because I’m not mediocre, I’m really different from everyone around me, down to the smallest details but that doesn’t matter because in order to accomplish my dreams I have to be mediocre. I don’t want to forget me and I don’t want to be mediocre. I’m sorry that I’m not that normal but I hope you can always remember that you’re not normal either.
Yet, I think you could be the most normal. Maybe the person reading this thinks they’re different. Maybe you want to be different but you’re not. I spent my entire life trying to be you but maybe you wanted to be me. Is that possible?
I don’t know, maybe these are just empty thoughts. I think maybe I’m just mad cause the education system is horrible and I have to be average to be able to be extraordinary. And I hate that I have to be someone else before I can be myself.
I wish I didn’t have to be anyone. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t all that smart so that I could maybe just be content with whatever life throws at me, I could sleep at night without thinking about the future and war, I could smile and actually have millions of reasons for it.
But I don’t regret a thing because I will always be different.