I Choose to No Longer Want You

By: Zainh Alfi

It’s an unexplainable pressure.

Like someone’s pushing against my heart

with all the hatred in the world,

trying to get it out of my chest.

It’s an unexplainable desire;

a desire that I just cant seem to fight.

It took me so long to forget everything about you,

everything about us and how you tore my heart apart.

This time you came into my life and my heart just

wasn’t beating for you anymore,

but when your heart’s out of the question,

all that’s left is your mind.

What could I possibly do when all the pressure

that was once on my delicate heart is now all over my body;

centering and expanding from my mind.

The thoughts that I can never appease with answers

and assurances are left to wander.

Your simple touch started a riot in my head,

your gentle kiss gave me chills all over

my body and caused panic in my mind, and still

it made me feel like everything was simple.

I’m not sure where the pressure came from;

whether it was from the fact that you could possibly

let me go again

or if it was from the fact that at this moment in time

i could have you, but i just

don’t want you anymore.


The pressure of “why”.

I keep telling myself that – this time it’s

not going to cause me any pain.

This time you won’t affect me,

because this would only be hard if I’m weak;

And I am not weak.

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