Your Lover Ain’t Abouky/Ommak

By: Farah Dessouky

“I can’t do that my bf doesn’t let me”
“My girlfriend doesn’t want me to talk to her”
“Maynfaash arooh club mn ghero”
“I quit smoking for her”

Seriously nothing pisses me off more than controlling relationships. It feels like a cycle of he told me not to do that and I told him not to do this and at the end we’re both not satisfied lol. Why all that? Does the fact that we’re dating translate to us putting “rules” for each other? Well, no, at least for me. I honestly can’t believe how our parents already put a shit ton of rules for us then we’re gonna willingly let ANOTHER authority figure into our lives, let him/her control us under the name of love. Here’s a list of why your partner shouldn’t turn into abouky.



1. We are aware adults

Contrary to popular belief I don’t believe love is about compromise, it actually is about acceptance. We love the person despite of what we don’t like. If you knew that she for example dresses in a certain way from the beginning you don’t get to ask her to change that because you’re now dating. Smoking too maslan, okay it’s a bad habit, but forcing your partner to quit ya2ema teseebo baad isn’t okay. If you care for him/her you could give them advice w khelesna they’re an adult and they are aware of their choices.


2. Your life your choices

Of course this is not what you wanna hear, but a marriage or a relationship isn’t gonna last forever and although it might you should always keep in mind that something could happen, that’s life right? So letting go of so much for the sake of your partner and making your life revolve around them is the biggest mistake ever because guess what? They could be gone in the blink of an eye and it’ll be much harder to get over, than a person who’s independent and has an actual separate life from their partner. So basically everything you’re gonna let go for someone is part of who you are, and no one is worth sacrificing your right to choose.


3. Where is the trust?

Telling your partner to not go to a certain place without you present or cut off people from their lives if says anything other than that you are a controlling asshole, it’s that you don’t trust them enough. Seriously why can’t she/he talk to an ex for example? Are you afraid they’ll get back together? And please if you’re thinking it’s “the other people” you don’t trust here’s an idea, why don’t you design your partner a cage for the “other people” to stay away of your sacred love? Seriously if your partner does that just know he doesn’t trust you and is insecure, and you don’t have to deal with that.


Lastly, we’re sick of authority so letting your partner have that much power over you is a burden and is not worth it. And of course that doesn’t mean being stubborn and doing things that annoy him/her on purpose, but if they are not okay with whom you are as a person, your choices, and actions you might as well just ask why are you guys together in the first place?

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